Life After
by EllaRose00
Summary: Summary: Carlisle created her. She is as beautiful as she as dangerous. “I don’t care what, who or where you came from Bella,” Edward said as he walked closer to me. “I just know that I need you in my life… you belong to me.”
1. Prologue

**Life After**

**Prologue**

I knew this day would come. Death is always inevitable and always expected. It happens when you least expect it and sometimes precisely when you do. It is the means to an end, always a conclusion to someone's story. Unfortunately these rules do not apply to me. Yet here I was, perched on a branch in a large willow tree, hidden by the heavy moss, watching the coffin of the only person who I held so dear to my heart being lowered into the ground. He was the one who had made me what I am today…immortal. I felt a twinge of envy run through my veins. I was jealous of how easy death was for everyone else. How I wished I could just jump off of a building or shoot myself in the head. I longed for death. I fantasized about it.

It was a particularly sunny day today. I could feel the sun's warmth on my back as I sat on the branch. I leaned my side against the tree, resting my head alongside the trunk. It always seemed to me that the bad events in my life always had perfect weather in the background while the days I truly cherished the weather was always unpleasant. It was the sound of a loud thunder crashing that stirred me awake on that momentous day when I first laid eyes on him. It was my most favorite memory of them all.

I look through the heavy shrubs and far into the distance. My eyesight being powerful enough to see even the delicate weave of the pastor's suit if I chose to look that deep, I kept my distance. Esme would be the only one who would know who I was among those attendees to this funeral. I didn't want my presence to upset her, especially today.

There were many people who came to say their last goodbyes to Carlisle Cullen, more than I had expected. I didn't know he had become so popular over the years. A small smile formed on my lips. _Of course he was_, I thought. _Everyone loved him._ I gazed upon Esme, now an older woman, with hair pulled into a bun and her sullen face as she stared into the distance with a blank face. I had thought she was perfect, the first time I saw her. She still very much was. She had aged beautifully, only lovely crinkles on the side of her eyes that showed how much she had loved and lived. Her dark hair was still shiny, with no sign of gray. She had the life I had wanted. A family that loved her, a history she could remember and the ability to give Carlisle more than I ever could. She was what made it easier for me to leave all those years ago. She was what he deserved, a life with someone normal. I was disappointed to find it was now ex-wife as he had told me the last time we spoke, a week ago. They hadn't spoken to each other for over 20 years. I wondered if she was struggling with this loss. Could she mourn the loss of a man who never mourned the loss of her? I watched the tears drop heavily down her eyes. I guess you can.

A little boy lean against Charles Cullen, Carlisle's eldest and only son, caught my eye. Carlisle had shown me pictures of his family that day I had visited. Charles had grown up to be a handsome man. He had Esme's dark hair and brown eyes. Those eyes were now cold and emotionless. I was a little taken aback, wondering what Charles was thinking at his father's funeral.

I climbed to a closer branch wanting to get a better view of the little boy. It had to be his grandson. Though it seemed he had no characteristics of his father, he was a spitting image of his grandfather. He looked so much like the young man I had fallen in love with those many years ago. Only this boy had darker hair...a wonderful shade of bronze, which fell lazily in his eyes, just like Carlisle's blonde hair use to. Their features were the same, the shape of his nose and how his eyes set on his face. Though this boy still had a round face, I could see the sharp jaw his grandfather once had make its way through. I watched him as he brushed his hair out of his eyes, shifted his weight to another foot and the way his fingers would lightly twitch when he didn't know what to do with his hands. All of his mannerisms were exactly the same as his grandfathers.

And those eyes…those exceptionally stunning eyes were exactly the same. Those one and the same indecisive eyes I fell in love with long ago that could never stick with a color, changing frequently by the mood he was in. They could be as green as emeralds one minute and then next they would be hazel, a beautiful shade of gold. Today this young man's eyes were gold. When I left Carlisle, his eyes were gold.

**A/N: So here is the beginning of my new Edward/Bella story. Hope this intro gets you interested in the rest of the story. Please review and let me know what you think so far. I am also looking for a beta for this story as well. Thank you so much for everyone who contacted me for The War. If your interested in beta-ing this story as well please shoot me an e-mail (e-mail address is found on my profile). Thanks again!!! You guys are awesome!!**


	2. The Beginning and the Now

**Chapter 1**

_**Bella's POV**_

_**August 7, 1961**_

I don't know my real name or when I was born. I don't know my family nor if I even had one before. I'd like to think that there was someone somewhere out in the world that is missing me, wondering where I am or what might have happened to me. It's hard to believe that a person could go through life without making any sort of connection with another human being. But it seems that was exactly the case. Maybe I was awful to be around my previous life. Maybe no one liked me. Maybe god granted me a second chance at redemption, in a sort of sick and twisted way. I think I would have rather of just died and gone to hell. I may be there already.

I'm not exactly sure how long I have been on this earth. August 7, 1961 was the day I woke up. I remember the sound of a loud crash of thunder is what made me stir. It would be the last time I would ever wake up. I remember those fickle, always changing color eyes as the first thing my eyes focused on when I opened my eyelids. I was taken aback how much depth I could see. I saw every little gold speckle in those brilliantly green eyes and every faint line where his eye creased. Even then I knew that this was not normal. I should not be seeing this in such detail. Just as I realized, in a instant my eyes zoned out of that extreme facet to reveal a man in his mid twenties standing above me. His handsome face concerned as he watched me come to life.

"Isabella?" he asked.

I remember looking back at him with a confused expression on his face.

"Who's Isabella?" I whispered back to him. And then he smiled.

"You."

I felt my eyebrows furrow together trying to make sense of this… of everything. I sat up very easily and looked around to a bedroom I did not recognize. I could faintly hear the ocean waves crashing against the surface in the background. The sound of rain hitting against the windows seemed to echo off the walls. The wide windows open just a crack to let the smell of the ocean and the gentle breeze of the window blow through. I took note of the faint colors of blue and green played throughout the room.

"This is your room. I convinced them to move you here. I figured it would be more soothing to wake up here than at the lab."

He was making everything sound more confusing.

"Who are…'them'?"

"Heads of the Volturi," he said shrugging his shoulders. "I've never met them before, but I put the request in and they approved."

I started to take inventory of myself. Nothing seemed broken, no missing limbs. I was dressed in a fabric that I didn't quite recognize. The pale green fabric tank top hugged me very tightly but unusually comfortable. The pants were the same as I pulled down the sheets. I was thankful, as I took notice that I could have very well been in just my underwear and here I was in a room with a man I didn't know, a very handsome man at that. When I confirmed that all was well with my body, no weird tubes attached to me, I looked back at the man who was now sitting on a chair beside my bed watching me with such wonder. I gave him another confused look.

"I'm sorry. I must seem a bit bizarre to you. I'm sure you have many questions. It's just that, I have been working on you for so long… I've had all these one sided conversations with you for so many years. I just can't believe you're awake and I'm actually talking to you…and you're actually talking back."

"Who are you?" I asked trying desperately to piece things together.

"Carlisle…Carlisle Cullen," he said as he held out his hand for me to shake. I slowly took his hand and was about to introduce myself, when it dawned on me.

"Who am I?" I asked him.

"You are Isabella…well, I call you Isabella….you looked like an Isabella to me, so I decided to name you that. To everyone else you are Project 48A, but I highly doubt people will call you that now that you're awake."

"Project 48A?"

"Yes," he said cautiously taking a deep breath, running his hand through his blonde hair. "I've gone through this conversation in my head a million times and imagined a million different outcomes for 5 years. I thought when the time came, I would have thought of a better way to explain this without it being so shocking but it seems to be an impossible task."

I looked at him wanting him to just get on with it. Any clarification on what was going on would suffice.

"Isabella… you've been asleep for 11 years," he looked at me as if he was watching the information sink in, then he continued. "Well…more like a comatose state than really sleeping."

"11 years?" I whispered. I looked at him as he nodded. He got up from the chair and came slowly to me to sit by my side on the bed.

What he told me that day took me about a month to process, to really mull over it in detail. I had gotten into a car accident long ago, a near fatal one that left me in a coma. All other information droned out in the background after he told me no one had claimed me. I was a Jane Doe, as they refer to bodies with missing identity. There was no one who claimed to know me, no reports of missing persons that matched me. I tried to imagine how I could have gone through life and not had any connections to anyone. Wasn't there someone who missed me? Couldn't there have been someone worried or wondering about what happened to me? Who had I been? What kind of person was I, that should I go missing, no one in the world cared to look for?

Carlisle told me my body was donated to science but that I had been specifically chosen for this project. I apparently met all the criteria they were looking for. I never bothered to ask what exactly that criteria had been. I was brought to Volturi, specifically to the biomedical engineering department. I had been frozen for more nearly 10 years. Their goal was to create a better solider but instead they only managed to make a weapon out of me. This was during the Vietnam War. A super hero, Carlisle once called me. At least that was what he had envisioned when he created me. I only thought of myself as evil or a monster. He could never see it but I could. I was made to destroy, never to save. I was part of the worst kind of monster…the one you hardly suspect. To everyone else, I looked like a fragile girl, only I was the complete opposite. Nothing but fear would come from me. They were going to use fear in hopes of gaining peace. That is how the world work for thousand and thousand of years and time after time, that theory was proven wrong. Fear only keeps peace for so long till people get the courage to fight and stand up to what they fear. Peace will never be achieved in that way. I was glad I got away before any of their plans could be carried out.

I remembered vividly how he explained my change to me. He took my hand and led me to the large mirror in my bedroom. I remember staring blankly into the mirror, wondering if I should recognize the face staring back at me. I felt as though I was looking at a stranger. I wanted to cry, I even felt my bottom lip slightly tremble. But no tears came and I watched my eyebrows furrow together as I acknowledged that something was very, _very_ wrong with me.

"Isabella, you probably already can tell but you are not like any human being. You are incredibly special."

"Am I supposed to recognize that girl in the mirror?" I said softly not sure if I really wanted to know the answer.

He bit his lip as if he didn't know what to say. It was an uncomfortable silence as he looked at me through the mirror as if he was trying to figure out the best way to say what he needed to say.

"Um…I suppose you may not completely recognize yourself," he said quietly. "You see, there were some changes that were made. The essence of you and what you looked like is still there. There were only slight changes that were needed to be made. Your nose is more angular, your features were made more symmetrical. The plastic surgery that was done on you is quite advanced for its time."

"Why?" I said quietly walking up to mirror to have a closer look. I wondered what I looked like before. Maybe I would have liked the fact that my nose leaned slightly to the left…or the right. I wouldn't have known.

"Well…there were changes that needed to be made…" he trailed never finishing.

"Why?" I said more forcefully. I could feel the anger rise in me.

"The Volturi assigned it to be done. I assure you that they only u-"

"Why?!" I screamed.

"To make you more attractive." he finally got out.

I glared at him in the mirror. They have taken everything away. I wished with all of my soul that they would have just let me died. I didn't know who I was and they seemed they had taken the very essence of what made me…me.

"They wanted to create a perfect woman…and well, that's what you are. You are as beautiful as you are dangerous. It is a great disguise of what you are."

I punched the mirror with the fury that over took me. I was angry for being so confused and furious that I had no choice of what I apparently become. I stood there in shock and surprised at my temper, as I slowly pulled my arm out of the wall. I shocked to find out I was strong enough to do that. I examined my arm closely. Not a scratch and it didn't even hurt.

"I guess we are going to have to work on controlling that temper of yours," he said quietly stepping a little bit away from me. I looked up at him as he stared back with me cautious eyes. He was scared of me and that fact alone made me what to throw up. I tried walking to him with my hands held up trying to signal I meant no harm.

"I'm sorry," I gently said. "I wasn't expecting that. I promise that won't happen again."

"I know. It's all pretty hard to take in. I wasn't expecting you to do cartwheels when I knew I was going to have to explain this to you."

I smiled nervously and he smiled back.

I lifted my arm to him.

"Why aren't I hurt? Why didn't that hurt?" I asked him.

"Nothing will hurt you anymore. Nothing can pierce your skin. You are…indestructible."

"Indestructible? I can't die?"

He was silent, as if it pained him to tell me that I was right.

I turned back to look at myself in the mirror. Yes, I was beautiful. All features were striking. I was petite and perfectly slim. I looked very young, barely a woman just yet. My long brown hair slightly curled near my shoulders framed my attractive, seemingly innocent face. Yes, no one would suspect what I was capable of. I looked like a normal girl….just a beautiful, fragile girl. I kept asking myself if I should be happy or wondered if I had looked so unfortunate before. Would the old me liked how I look now? I took a deep breath and turned back to him.

"How old was I…during the accident?"

"We are not sure, possibly 17, maybe a couple years younger or possible older than that. You could have just looked fairly young for your age."

We stared at each. I could see a hint of sadness in his eyes. Yes, he too thought I was too young when life past me by.

"Would you like a tour of the facility? Your new home?" he asked reach out his hand to me.

"Yes. That would be great."

I took his hand and he gave it a light squeeze. He gave me a great deal a comfort with just his touch. He led me out the door.

Outside had been a large contrast of my room. Everything was white and sterile. Many people walked through the halls, only slightly picking up their heads to get a good look at me, then turning back quickly. I walked slowly as Carlisle guided me through the halls.

"This is the living quarters. I live right here," he said pointing me at the room next to mine. "So if you need anything…anything at all, I'm close."

I nodded my head and continued following my tour guide. We walked in silence the rest of the way turning the corner and waited for the elevators. I took note that we were on the 11th floor. He pressed for floor 5. As the doors opened I was glad that this floor did not look as sterile as the 11th floor did. It was nicely carpeted and had paintings on the wall. He squeezed my hand again and I followed.

"To the left there is the cafeteria," he pointed to the double doors. "You most likely won't ever go in there."

"Where will I eat?"

"You don't eat. You don't need to anymore."

I stopped and he looked back at me. I needed more of an explanation than that.

"Human bodies need food as an energy source. Your body no longer needs it. It generates energy on its own."

I hated how he said 'human bodies' because he was admitting to me that clearly something I was not….human, whether he meant to or not. I took what he said, only nodding again and continued to follow through the maze of halls.

"Recreation and entertainment is on the 7th floor. You'll find a game room, movie room, bowling alley…things like that in there. There is even a pool on the 4th floor if you'd like to go swimming. The gym is on that floor as well. No one is allowed on the 12th floor. It is where the heads of the Volturi offices are. Sometimes they will come down, but only on very rare occasions. Most labs are here on this floor and on the 3rd floor. My lab is on this floor…right through here"

As we got to a set of double doors, he pulled out a card to swipe and I heard the lock click open for us. He pushed the door open, ushering me in front of him.

The room was bright and just as white and sterile as the 11th floor. It looked like typical science lab filled with books, several computers and an array of beakers and tubes. Large chalkboards filled a wall with confusing writing all over them. There was a hospital bed in the center, the covers laid in disarray over the bed. I watched him walk over there as he patted the mattress with his hand.

"This is where you have been for the past 5 years," he said with a smile.

I bit my lip and tried to look somewhere else. It's an uneasy feeling having been told where you have been for that many years without your consent and without you even knowing. I walked to the chalkboards on the wall.

"What is all this?" I asked.

"That…" he spoke with such pride. "Is the formula I invented that helped create you…a superhero."

_**August 13, 2008**_

I picked up the newspaper and set it down on my kitchen table. I put my keys on the hook and began to flip through. My life now compared to the life I had before my change seemed to be exactly the same, I could imagine. I was completely alone for the most part. If I disappeared, no one would notice and no one would draw a concern. I lived in a small apartment in New York City. I kept to myself mostly, only coming to make sure I haven't lost touch with the world. Sometimes I'd go to the corner coffee shop, get a cup of coffee and pretend to drink it while I people watched. It was guilty pleasure that I partake in twice a week. It was how I tortured myself, really. I watched as people connected with one another. They talked animatedly to one another, expressed love for one another and fought passionately with one another, never realized how lucky they were to just have one another.

I worked jobs to pass the time. I had very little needs in life. Only money to pay rent and my entertainment to pass time was all that I ever needed. I never needed a bed or food. I never was worried about healthcare and never really had to put money away for unfortunate disasters. I had seemed to accumulate a good savings over the years and I had been successful in some investments. The jobs that I took now were merely to pass time.

I moved constantly, before they could catch me and before anyone could suspect that I wasn't aging. I had made acquaintances on the way, but never allowed them to get close. Sometimes I would go to high school a few years and sometimes it was college when I needed some sort of stability in my life. I was a different person, with a different name, in all of the different places I have lived. I played a character that I thought out thoroughly before acting the part. I pretended I had a family, that I was close to my mother or that I was daddy's girl. No one knew that I lived alone or how terribly lonely I was.

I turned on the TV, not really interested in what was on, just wanting the background noise as I flipped through an article and stumbled upon on a small article. The picture is what caught my eyes. A boy, tall and lanky, with his hair in disarray stood there awkwardly with his trophy next to his science project. He looked oddly familiar, like I had seen him before. I read the line below: _**Edward Cullen. Winner of National Science Society Competition**_. It was Carlisle's grandson. I smiled as I looked closer to the picture. He had grown to be very handsome, just like his grandfather and apparently he was just as smart. His family lived near me in Westchester, a suburb outside city. I read the article quickly discovering that he used his late grandfather's memoirs as inspiration for his science project. The article continued on about his future projects. One of them dealt with biomedical engineering. He was quoted, "I've always been fascinated by superheroes. I've collected comic books all of my life. It would be something to create a real one, a human being that is able to help the greater good." My hands started to shake. _No!_ I screamed in my head.

What were in those memoirs that Edward had obtained from his grandfather? Carlisle promised me all formulas and evidence was to be destroyed. He promised! I was not to be duplicated. I would do everything I could to prevent it. My only hope was that the Volturi did not know about Carlisle's grandson. I prayed that they assumed that all of the information was forever lost, along with me.

I grabbed my phone and dialed the only number that stayed in my phone over all these years.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jenks, it's me," I said.

"What's up?"

"How fast can you get me a high school ID?

**A/N: I wasn't going to post this chapter so soon, but I figured what the hell. Hope you like what I've got started. Let me know what you think. Please review!**


	3. First Sight

**A/N: Thanks again for the wonderful reviews. I know this story seems a bit confusing at first, but hopefully by now things are a little bit clear. If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me and I'll try to answer them all. If it seems too confusing I may have to go in and do some more editing. Well so far this was my favorite chapter to write. So Enjoy!!! **

**Chapter 2 – **_**First Sight**_

_**September 1, 2008**_

_**Edward's POV**_

_Never again_, I thought as I made my way to school's administrative office. The halls were deserted as everyone was still in class. My pace was fast and I could hear my steps echo off the walls as I stared at the light that reflected off of the laminate floors. I, thankfully, had independent study first hour in the library and instead of working on my new project (a project I knew certainly was going to change the world), I spent the first half hour coming to the decision that I probably will kill myself by the end of the week if I should stay here any longer.

This school is like any typical high school that you can imagine. It has its cliques and hierarchy of popularity. Unfortunately for me being a genius doesn't give you instant popularity points. It seemed that the students with more athletic talent and more socially outgoing seemed to have taken those spots. But luckily for me, I'm attractive enough to not be a complete social outcast. I've learned how to get by and get by with what I have. I tend to be more quiet than most. My mind is always working…thinking of new ideas. I keep a notepad with me to jot them down from time to time. Nobody really knows I do this. My ideas always seem so far fetched that I would be embarrassed if anyone really saw what goes on in my head.

I find it hard to relate to my peers, so instead of putting the effort in doing so, I just don't. I have a few close friends, enough to count on one hand. While most cliques were easily defined as the jocks, the band geeks or the drama nerds, ours just existed, with no label at all. We just existed among the rest of the groups. I like to think we were the group that can roam around the others without questioned. This is what I preferred.

I walked with determination in my step as the thoughts of: _I can't believe I wasted two years of my life in this high school_, chanted in my head. I should have listened to my parents and never come to this school to begin with. But I had adamant about wanting to go to a normal high school, having a normal life and doing normal things that teenagers do, like prom and going to football games. Normal was now sounding stifling, boring and utterly wrong for me. Within 48 hours, I have grown to completely despise this school. I should have gone to that gifted school that my parents were pushing. My only hope now was to just finish my high school career as soon as possible and head into college full time. I was already taking collage courses on the side.

It was common knowledge amongst the administrative staff as well as all of my teachers that I was bored and unchallenged by the curriculum. So what made me stay here for two long years? Tanya Denali. I had been spellbound with her ever since she moved across the street from me, the summer before my freshman year of high school. For two years, I had crushed on her, building this imaginary Tanya Denali, as I tried to fantasize what she was really like. In my head, she was smart, witty and above all caring. She was absolutely perfect. Unfortunately for me, I had been two shy to ask her out and by the beginning of the school year she starting dating junior, Marcus Stone, the football superstar of our high school. For two years they dated and I patiently waited for my opportunity to arise again. I was ecstatic to find that when Marcus graduated and went to college on the west coast on a football scholarship, he decided to break up with her. So here was my chance. I coached myself, convincing that I need to just suck it up and ask her out. By Wednesday, I finally got the courage to ask her out and she to my surprise she said yes. For the rest of the week, I was on cloud nine, just waiting for Saturday. Boy, was Saturday such a disappointment. It would rank as the number one let down of my life; along side when my parents told me Santa wasn't real.

This girl who I built so far up in my mind, didn't come anywhere near what I had imagined her out to be. She was the complete opposite of who I thought she was. The disappointment was more than I could describe. In the history of worst first dates, this probably topped them all. Conversation at dinner was torture in itself. I tried hard to think of something…anything to find a common ground with this girl, but came up with nothing. The only time she spoke was to update me on the latest petty gossip of the high school halls, which I held no interest in. By the time the main course came out, we were eating in uncomfortable silence. I was shifting through ideas on how to end the night. I had planned on taking her to a movie after, but I just wanted the night to be over… as soon as possible. Halfway through dinner she had excused herself to the ladies room. I sat there thinking of possible excuses to take her home early. As I looked at my watch, I hadn't realized how long she had been in the bathroom. I let myself hope that maybe she just took off on her own and ditched me. I should have been upset though I couldn't help but be relieved and somewhat thrilled. But before I could stand up to see if my theory was true, she came sauntering back over the table, stumbling over a few other patrons of the restaurant looking at me with a sloppy grin as she made her way.

"Are you okay?" I asked her as she slumped down in her chair.

"I am….._wonderful_!" she said with a huge grin on her face, giggling nonstop.

Just when I thought this date could not get any worse, I was proven wrong. I wanted to take her home immediately but she insisted on having dessert. I tried to argue, but she was starting to make a scene. The waiter brought out the cheese cake as fast as he could, thank god. When dinner was finally over, I decided to drive straight back to her house. We were just five minutes away from her house, when she decided to puke all over the floor of my car.

"Sorry," she whispered as she lay her head back on the seat and instantly started to snore.

I sighed and rolled down the windows.

The rest of the weekend I spent meticulously cleaning out my car and becoming furious at myself for wasting two years of my life for a girl who turned out to be such a big disappointment. Never again would I allow myself to be influenced by my stupid teenage hormones. I would focus solely on myself and my studies. So this Monday morning, I decided to let my academic counselor know that I would be finishing the rest of my studies at home. I knew that they would not fight me on this topic as they already did not know why I insisted on staying here on the first place.

_Never again….never ever, ever again_ I chanted over and over in my head as I rounded the corner. I abruptly stopped as I wasn't paying attention and almost bumped into something or some ones.

"Excuse me," I said as I looked up to see who I almost bumped into. As irony would have it, it was Tanya making out with Mike Newton, the same Mike Newton who asked me if it was true that pickles really did come from cucumbers. Instantly I felt nauseous to have fallen for a girl who thought Mike Newton was worth kissing. As I tried to step on by, I unfortunately caught Tanya's eye. Before I could shift my gaze as quickly as I could from this vulgar make out session, I watched the scene become even more obscene as she shoved her tongue further down his throat while glaring back at me. She stared at me with such determination as if she was telling me that she was no longer interested in me or that she had moved on. _Ditto_, I thought as I rolled my eyes. I kept going with even more determination to the office.

I was now more than ever resolved by the time I nearly reached the door to the office. I promised myself that I would finish my remaining classes from home as fast as I could and then move onto college full time where I could focus solely on this new project, inspired by recently acquired memoirs I inherited from my late grandfather. That is where my new passion would be. I forbade myself to no longer make decisions based on my hormones. And as I reached for the doorknob to the office door, as quickly as the doorknob escaped my hand as the door swung open, I laid eyes on _her_ and all conclusions and resolutions I had come up with went completely out the window.

She smiled in recognition, as if I was who she had been looking for. If I had thought Tanya Denali was a 10, this girl was clearly not even on the same chart. She made Tanya look like a negative 10.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan," she said instantly as she held out her hand.

"H-hi," I managed to mumble out. I was completely taken aback by this girl. "Edward…Edward Cullen."

I shook her hand and smiled back at her.

I decided right then and there, that 2 more years of this high school wouldn't be so bad, especially if it involved getting to see her everyday at school.

"It's nice to meet you," she smiled again as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

Everything about her was perfect, as if she was flawlessly sculpted. She looked like an angel. Her beauty was so unique…one of a kind. But there was something more and I couldn't place my finger on it just yet.

"Today's my first day. You don't mind showing me where my first class is?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said holding my hand out for her schedule. I couldn't believe my luck as I looked on the sheet. We had three classes together, including lunch.

"Are you sure? I'm not keeping you from anything, am I?"

"Nope, nothing at all. We have a few classes together," I spoke as I turned around and led her to her first hour class.

"Really? Which ones?"

"2nd hour Advance Calc, 4th hour Spanish and 5th hour Bio. We even have lunch together as well."

I turned to look at her and saw that she was watching me with a beautiful grin on her face.

"That's great. It will be nice to know at least one person in those classes. Maybe have at least one friend?" she spoke cautiously on the last sentence.

I was a little taken aback by how she spoke her last sentence. As if I may not want to be friends with her or as if she thought she would have difficulties making friends here. I was certain by the end of the day, she would have far more friends than I and I'm sure most of these "friends" were of the opposite sex who mostly likely wanted to be more.

"Yes, you definitely have at least one friend," I grinned back.

We continued walking as I tried to point out briefly each direction where things were, such as the cafeteria and the gym. She nodded as I spoke, never really taking her eyes off of me. Before I could feel anymore self-conscious or flustered we made it to her first hour class.

"Well, here it is," I said pointing to the door. "Your second hour class is just down that hall, third door to your left."

"Thanks again, Edward. I really appreciate you showing me around."

"Anytime. It was nice meeting you."

"You too."

As she opened the door, she waved goodbye and I watched her walk into the classroom.

I walked back to the library with a little bounce to my step. I couldn't believe it. For two years, I could barely speak to Tanya without completely working myself up to do so. It amazed me how easily I conversed with her and how comfortable I felt. I flopped down in my seat in my favorite corner desk cube. My books and stuff were still there, sprawled out all over the desk. I tapped my pencil against my book, trying to focus but only finding difficult to do so. My thoughts kept going back to her.

I smiled as I saw my friend Jasper make his way through the book shelves heading over to me.

"Hey man," he said as he took a seat next to me.

"Skipping already?"

"It would appear so."

"You're skipping your first hour class, on the first day of school?" I questioned again my eyebrow quirked up.

He simply nodded, taking mountain dew out of his back pack and proceeded to lean against his chair to prop his feet up on the desk. Jasper was probably just as smart as I, only his report card may say otherwise. He was a passionate person. He never just liked some thing; it was either a strong love for it or utter hate. There was rarely a middle ground for him. When there was something he was into, he obsessed over it, wanting to learn every aspect of it that there is possible to know. His girlfriend since freshman year fell underneath the love, well more like obsessed with category, along with the history channel and anything war related. Unfortunately, our high school education system didn't fall under one his greatest loves. The school managed to look the other way with his shady attendance record, due to the fact that he pulled straight Bs by barely attending class and our friend Ben, a proficient hacker, made a few changes on his attendance record before he had too many absences to get kick out.

He snapped his pop open and pulled out his I phone to play around with it.

"So…I'm surprised to see you here," he said tapping away on his phone. "I figured you would have been already packed up and running from this hell hole."

"Yeah, there was a changed in plans."

I turned back to my book, running my hand through my hair nervously. I heard the tapping on his phone immediately stopped.

"So you're going to stay?" he asked.

"Uh…yeah. I mean, I figured what's two more years, right?"

He took his feet off the desk and leaned towards me.

"I know you Edward. You hardly waver over things and this morning you seemed pretty decided. There was something that made you change my mind."

The way he looked at me, his eyes were intensely scrutinizing me, making me very uncomfortable. Jasper had this way of always getting you to tell him what he wanted to know. He was always good at messing with your head.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Just please tell me it's not about a girl this time."

I felt my body tense and I knew immediately he could feel the tension roll off of me.

"Are you kidding me? Seriously, Edward." He put Iphone on the desk as if he meant business now. I looked at him trying to convey that he really needed to let this go.

"As your best friend, I feel it is my duty to tell you that you are being an idiot. For the past two years, I have watched you obsess over Tanya and over the past two years I've tried to convince you that she is trash…a complete bitch. But somehow you managed to put her on this pedestal and created this perfect girl in your head that just does not exist. Wasn't last Saturday enough to prove to you that the imaginary Tanya you created in your head isn't real? Can't you see that a relationship between you and her is wrong on so many levels? I can't believe you are going to torture yourself here for this fantasy girl that you created."

"Thanks for the insight, Jasper."

"I'm sorry, man. I'm just looking out for your best interests."

I sighed as I closed my book and turned my whole body towards him.

"It has nothing to do with Tanya. Trust me. I was over it 5 minutes into the date."

His brows furrowed together.

"So then what's keeping you here?"

I looked at him with a blank face. How was I going to tell him that it was a different girl that held me here without looking like a complete immature teenage boy who only thinks with the lower half of his body?

"Please tell me it's not about a girl again," he said almost pleaded with me.

I gave him an uneasy smile.

"Seriously? You're fucking kidding me." he spoke exasperatedly.

I shrugged my shoulders and opened my book back up. I flipped through a few pages trying to put on an act that I suddenly had an interest in working on my project. Suddenly I heard his fingers drum on the desk. I looked at him, to find him looking back at me with a quiet annoyed face.

"Well, are you going to tell me who she is?"

"I'd rather not."

"This is a massive mistake. You're just going to be deeply disappointed when she doesn't live up to your expectations. Trust me, there is no one hell hole of the female persuasion that is worth rotting away here for another two years. They are all bitches and sluts. Well….except Alice of course. But that goes without saying."

"Really? Does your sister fall in that category as well?"

"Yep. Rosalie is the queen of them all."

I snorted at this. Jasper's sister fell underneath things he absolutely loathed, along with Alice's brother Emmett. Ironically Rosalie was dating Alice's older brother, Emmett. Emmett liked to give Jasper a hard time. He took it upon himself to take the older brother protective role just a bit too far.

"You know, it works out perfectly: Rose, queen of the bitches and Emmett is king of the tools."

"Since when did Emmett become king of the tools?" I asked.

"Since Marcus Stone graduated. He handed the torch to him."

The bell rang fortunately and I got up to pack my stuff in my backpack.

"See you at lunch?" he asked as he walked toward the double doors.

"Yeah."

I put my backpack on my shoulders and headed to my second hour class as fast as I could without running there. I didn't bother stopping at my locker. As I arrived to the classroom there were only a couple of students in the room. I picked a spot so that I had empty seats all around me. Bella had many choices of desks she could choose. I only hoped one of them was next to me. I watched Lauren Mallory come walking through the doors. I instantly cringed as she saw all of the available seats by me and lit up like a Christmas tree. She came hopping, taking the empty seat to my left. I cursed her in my head as she plopped her self down in the desk. _It's okay. There is still an empty seat to your right as well as one in front of you and behind you available_, I reasoned with myself.

"Hey Edward," she said as she set her backpack on her desk.

"Hey." I always tried to keep my responses to her in one word. You'd think after two years she got the hint.

"How was your summer?"

"Good."

"Mine was great, too! Did you do any traveling?"

"Yep."

"Me too! Where do you go?"

"Around." I shrugged me shoulders.

Thankfully, Bella walked in. Unfortunately Mike Newton was trailing behind her trying to get her attention. Wasn't he just shoving his tongue down Tanya's throat less than an hour ago? I was relieved to find that she didn't look like she was at all paying attention to him at all. She briefly looked across the room as if she was looking for someone. Her eyes met mine and she instantly smiled. I smiled back and pointed to the empty seat next to me. She swiftly made her way over, only to leave Mike in mid-sentence. Mike stood there a little stunned but quickly found a seat as to avoid any further embarrassment.

"Hi," she said as she pushed her hair behind her shoulders.

God was she beautiful. In less than an hour, I was completely captivated by her.

**A/N: I know some are wondering if I the next chapter of The War will be posted and I promise you it will be soon. Hopefully by the middle of this week!**

**Please review and let me know what you thought of this chapter!! Thanks again!**


	4. The Pretend Me

**Chapter 3 – The Pretend Me**

_**August 22, 2008**_

_**Bella's POV**_

I pulled up to Jenk's home around noon. It was a beautiful, large colonial home. Picture perfect with an oak tree in the front yard and a tire swing tied onto one of the branches. I made my way up to door, stepping over a few bikes and toys. I rang the door bell and waited. I've only been here a handful of times. I usually see Jenks every 4 years or so. I was excited to see how my old friend was doing.

"Renee, aren't you a sight?" he said as he opened the doors with a large smile on his face. He only knew me as Renee. A past fake identity I had used when I first met him.

"You look good, Jenks," I lied as I gave him a big hug. He had gained some weight over the past few years and he was starting to bald.

"Well you look gorgeous of course, same as always." He motioned for me to come in.

I stepped in and quickly looked around. Not much has changed since the last time I was here. Some updated pictures of his children were scattered throughout the house. I followed him to the kitchen where the basement door was.

"How is the family doing?" I asked we walked down the stairs.

"They are doing well. Kids are at school and Jane is at work. Jason just made the basketball team and Sarah got her period. It's been a pretty eventful year for us."

I smiled. I've never met his family before. I only knew what Jenks told me about them. They seemed awfully sweet kids and wife.

I met Jenks in college. It was my second go around in a university. I decided to find out what it was like to live in the dorms and living on a co-ed floor, he happened to live in the room directly across from mine. He was selling fake IDs as a side job to underage students. He did an expert job at it. Over the years, his business grew in just about anything you could think of: passports, birth certificates. He could forge just about everything and anything. We became good friends those past years in school. He was the only person I've come across to figure out that there was something not right with me. He only asked once and I simply said that I had a disease that wouldn't allow me to age. He looked at me suspiciously when I told him this, but he never pressed for further information. I'm sure he decided that that was all he needed to know and that it was all I was willing to tell him. His friendship had become an imperative need to me with my constant identity changes and moves. Whenever I needed to start a new life, I came here first.

He still forged documents on the side, while he was a dentist by day. I don't believe his family knew of his side business he had over the years. His equipment was well hid in the small storage crawl space that leads into a larger room. I highly doubt his wife ever decided what was behind the door. He kept an old big screen TV propped up against the door.

I crouched down a bit following him in and stood up when we finally made it inside the room. He walked over to his fridge and pulled out a beer, then made his way to the desk and started his computer.

"So what is new with you?" he asked while we waited for the computer to boot up.

"Nothing much. Same old." I slightly cringed as I realized how true that statement was.

"So where are you off to now? Any ideas for a new name?"

"I need you to enroll me into Westchester High School, in Connecticut," I said.

"High school again? I don't know how you do it, Renee. Once was enough for me."

"What can I say? I still haven't won Homecoming Queen. I figured third times the charm," I joked.

He laughed and began working on his computer. Not only was he superb forger but a very proficient hacker as well. You would think after all this time I would learn how to just do it myself but I enjoyed our rare visits together. Though, I should have him show me the next time I come. He won't live forever, like I do.

"I need you to look up a student for me first," I said as I took a seat next to him.

"Who?"

"Edward Cullen."

He began typing and logging into the school's system. I watched the screen as I saw Edward's student files pop on the screen.

"Wow. The kid has some record," Jenks said.

"What do you mean?" I wasn't starting at the records but his school picture had caught my eyes. He had become just as gorgeous, maybe even more so than his grandfather. I couldn't look away.

"Look at his grades and his classes. He is already a substantial college credits. The boy is a genius. I wonder what he is still doing in public school."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"I need you to pull up his class schedule for this year. I need to be in some of his classes."

He looked at me cautiously wondering why I needed to be in this particular boy classes but I saw him shake his head and continued on in enrolling me into this high school.

"New name?"

I thought about it for a moment. I wanted to use Isabella, what his grandfather had named me but I figured it would be best to choose something slightly different. I went with the closest name to that.

"Bella," I said.

"Pretty. Last name?"

I looked around the room and my eyes landed on his calendar that had a picture of swans.

"Swan."

He started typing more and I sat there waiting for the next question.

"So how many of his classes would you like to be in?"

"Um…3 don't seem too overly suspicious does it? And maybe we could have lunch period together as well."

"I highly doubt he will become suspicious about it. He'll probably just think has unbelievable luck."

I laughed lightly and waited for him to finish up putting together new identity.

_**September 1, 2008**_

I glanced at my watched again for the 10th time since I've been in this office. Class began a half hour ago. I waited patiently in my chair as the new flustered secretary, Mrs. Cope, was trying to pull together my information. She did not know there would be a new student enrolling today. I seemed to have magically appeared in the system without her knowing. I smiled as I thought of Jenks. She was now trying to print of my schedule. Apparently there was a new system upgrade on the computer and she was still fudging her way through it.

"Ah! Here we go!" she said victoriously. She printed out the sheet and walked over to me. She waved me over and I walked up to the counter.

"Here is your schedule Bella and here is a map of the school. Will you need any help finding your first class?" she said. I could tell she was hoping that my answer would be no. She was already overwhelmed with her duties today.

"No. I should be okay. Thanks anyways," I said as I took the paper.

I started for the door when I heard her call my name again.

"Oh Bella! I almost completely forgot your locker assignment."

I turned around and waited for her to write down all the information on a scrap sheet.

"Okay, I think you are all set. Let me know if you need anything and welcome to Westchester High!"

I smiled and bit my lip. I was a little taken aback by her enthusiasm. I quickly reached for the door excited to finally get out of the office and start my day. I yank the door open and was surprised to see familiar green eyes I would be looking for today standing right in front of me, as luck would have it. I hadn't realized how tall he was and I had to look up to see him. I flashed my best smile.

I had one goal while I was here. I was to befriend him and hopefully that would help me gain access to find the memoirs his grandfather had left him. Maybe I would be able to get him to talk about his new science project he was working on.

"Hi. I'm Bella Swan," I said as I held out my hand.

He looked back at me with a sort of silly face. He seemed a little taken aback by my introduction.

"H-hi," he stuttered out. "Edward…Edward Cullen."

He seemed to put himself back together, a little more…resolved and took my hand to shake it. I figured that now was good time to start my friendship with Edward.

"It's nice to meet you," I said as I knowingly flirted by tucking my hair behind my ear and flashing a smile again. "Today's my first day. You don't mind showing me where my first class is?"

"Yeah," he said as he held out his hand for my schedule. I watched as his eyes lit up.

"Are you sure?" I asked remember he was on his way to the office. "I'm not keeping you from anything, am I?"

"Nope, nothing at all. We have a few classes together."

"Really? Which ones?" I already knew which classes we had together.

"2nd hour Advance Calc, 4th hour Spanish and 5th hour Bio. We even have lunch together as well."

I looked up at him and smiled. I was hoping that at lunch he would ask me to join him.

"That's great. It will be nice to know at least one person in those classes. Maybe have at least one friend?" I said a bit too cautiously. Maybe I shouldn't have jumped the gun on the whole friendship thing.

"Yes, you definitely have at least one friend," he grinned back at me. I felt myself sigh in relief.

We continued walking down the hall as he made himself a very good tour guide making sure to point out the gym and cafeteria. It reminded me so much the first day I woke up and Carlisle was showing me around Volturi. The way he moved and pointed things places out reminded so much of him. I was completely stunned of how much he was like Carlisle. The way he walked and the way he smiled reminded me so much of him. I felt my smile faltered a bit when I remembered how much I missed Carlisle.

"Well, here it is," he said pointing to the door. "Your second hour class is just down that hall, third door to your left."

"Thanks again, Edward. I really appreciate you showing me around."

"Anytime. It was nice meeting you."

"You too."

I walked toward the door and waved goodbye. I was surprised to find myself a bit sad by our departure, but I remembered that we had the next class together.

As I walked into the classroom, the teacher abruptly stopped her lecture and sighed loudly like she was deeply annoyed.

"Sorry," I tried to apologize, "The office had a hard time pulling up my schedule."

She merely gave me an agitated look and motioned to the empty seat in the back of the classroom. I quickly made my way to the desk.

"It's my fault she pissed," I heard a quite whisper say next to me.

I turned to my right to find a blonde hair boy with a baby face smiling at me.

"Oh?" I whispered back.

"Yeah. I came in late too. Five minutes before you came."

I nodded my head and looked back to the front of the room trying to focus on the lecture. I didn't want to get in anymore trouble.

"I'm Mike Newton," he whispered a little too loudly.

I looked at him and nodded. He was starting to annoy me immensely.

"You are?" he asked.

"Bella Swan," I said as quickly as I could.

"Beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

I rolled my eyes. Every high school was pretty much the same. There was always the school flirt, the superstar jock or the queen b. I already knew what Mike was like. He dated girls with a roaming eye, just waiting for something better to come along. Regrettably for me, it seemed at every high school I attended, they spotted me just as easily as I spotted them. To them, I was the best looking girl at school so unfortunately for me they made it their mission. They never seemed to take no as an answer either.

I ignored what he said and focused on the teacher who was lecturing. For the rest of the class I could feel Mike's eyes on me. It was becoming very uncomfortable. He seemed to have no tact whatsoever. I looked back at him trying to show that I slightly annoyed.

"What?" I mouthed to him.

He shrugged his shoulders with a lopsided grin and finally turned his attention to the front of the room.

I was thankful when the bell finally rang. I was anxious to get to my next class as soon as I could. I got up quickly and made my way to the door. Before I could walk out I felt my arm being lightly tugged at.

"Bella," Mike said as I noticed he was the one holding my arm.

I looked up at him.

"Let me walk you to your next class," he said.

"It's just around the corner really. I should be alright."

"What class do you have?"

"Advance Calc."

"Me too."

I gave him a questioning look. He didn't seem like someone who would be taking advance calculus. It didn't look like I had much of a choice as I let him walk me to class. I stayed silent as he talked on and on about mostly himself. By the time we made it to the classroom, I was hardly listening anymore. I scanned the room to look for Edward hoping he wouldn't mind if I sat next to him. I couldn't imagine having to sit though another class with Mike. Thankfully I found Edward and instantly smiled as he pointed at the empty seat next to him. I didn't hesitate as I made my way to sit next to him.

"Hi," I said as I sat down.

_**September 27, 1961**_

I spent the majority of my days with Carlisle. Over the past few weeks, he had been testing my abilities. I didn't mind the tests and I enjoyed my time with him. I passed each test with much higher results than what he was expecting. I wanted to make him proud of me. The more I spent with him, the more I found myself spellbound with him. Finding that I didn't really know who I was, I began being only who I wanted to be. I found myself striving to be what I thought Carlisle's perfect woman would be. Soon a lot of his loves, in music and in art, became mine too.

I wanted to know everything about his life. I enjoyed the mornings when I came to his room and sat with him at his kitchen table as he told me about his life before he came here, watching him eat breakfast. He was the only son of a pastor. His mother died long ago when he was a child. He said he didn't have much family or friends outside and it was easy to dedicate his whole life to this organization. It was nice to find someone who maybe seemed just as lonely as me. We easily became each others best friends…greatest confidants.

I was enraptured by his passion for his work. He talked about creating something to help the greater good of man kind. He loved what he did. Sometimes while he was in the lab studying his books and I, in my favorite corner of the room painting, I would catch him gazing at me with awe in his eye. I know what he thought of me, the absolute hope he had for me and what I could become. I would inwardly cringe when he looked at me that way. I knew I would never live up to his expectations. The weight of greater good for humanity weighed too heavily on my shoulders. I was just a silly girl. I was not capable of changing the world.

Day by day, I tried to deny my feelings for him. I kept asking myself if what I felt was love or was it something I created in my head. I could feel an attraction pulling me towards him. I refused to act on it, trying to convince myself that I didn't want to complicate things. I constantly reminded myself that he deserved someone more. I would never be able to give him what a normal woman would be able to: a family, a wife who could fall asleep in his arms, someone who wasn't as dangerous as me. I knew deep down that we were just never meant to be and he never would feel that way for me. He couldn't possibly love me because he didn't know who I was. How could he when even I didn't know who I was? He would be falling in love with someone that didn't exist.

Today we were testing my hearing. We were in farthest opposite sides of the floor in two different rooms. I sat at a desk as I recorded answers to the questions that he asked me. It was one of the easier tests. All I had to do was zoned in onto just his voice and block out all others that were on the floor.

"What color is an apple?" He said in loud voice, slightly below a shouting.

_Red_ I recorded on my sheet.

"What does a cow say?" he said in a normal voice.

_Moo_. I giggled when I recorded the answer.

"What is two plus two?"

_Four_

"What is the color of snow?" he said in a softer voice.

_White_

"What color is my hair?"

_Beautifully blonde._

"If you had one wish, what would it be?" he said a bit more quiet. I was a little taken aback as I thought this question was becoming a little more personal.

_To sleep…to dream._

"If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?" he said even quieter.

_Paris_

"Do you know how amazing you are?" His voice becoming even softer.

_I'm hardly amazing._ I laughed as I wrote.

"Do you think you'll ever fall in love? He said in a whisper.

I was startled by his question.

_I hope so_

"With me?" he said in such a low whisper. I believed he truly thought I wouldn't be able to hear. My felt my chest tightens. I didn't know if I should answer.

Without really thinking I wrote: _I already have._

"Stay there. I'll come and get you," he said in a louder voice.

I started to get nervous. I looked back down at my sheet, at my last answer. Why did I write anything? I should have acted like I didn't hear what he last said. I quickly tried to erase my answer but you could still see faintly what I wrote. I bit my lip not knowing what to do. He deserved more than me. I panicked and left the room. I moved quickly as I could so he wouldn't be able to catch me. I reached my room and locked the door behind me. What have I done? I sat on the floor, my back on the door. A few minutes later, I heard soft knock on my door.

"Isabella?" Carlisle called quietly.

I didn't say anything. I remained completely still.

"Please, Isabella. Open the door."

I shook my head. I didn't trust my voice. He stayed there a few minutes and finally he decided to leave. I could never let him fall in love with a monster like me.

**A/N: Thank you again for the wonderful reviews. I hope you are enjoying this different version of Edward and Bella. Reviews are appreciated!! Let me know what you think! **

**Also, I know some want an update of when I'm planning on posting the next chapter of The War. It should be posted by Wednesday. **

**Thanks again!**


	5. Not All Girls Are Stupid

**Chapter 4**_** – Not All Girls Are Stupid**_

_**September 1, 2008**_

_**Edward's POV**_

I kept my gazing to 12 minutes and 34 second intervals. Allowing myself to check the clock in the corner of the classroom and letting myself to shift my eyes to look at the angel sitting on my right. I hoped if I kept to only looking during my allotted intervals it wouldn't be so obvious. By the third interval, she caught on. The exact same time my eyes shifted back to her I found find Bella staring back at me with a smirk on her face. My eyes quickly went back to the front of the classroom, though I couldn't hide the smile that was forming on my face. I bit my lip, trying hard to make sure I wasn't making myself look like a complete dork.

She has to know what she does. I couldn't imagine her not knowing how beautiful she was. I know I wasn't the only who couldn't resist trying to get a few good looks at her. I couldn't help but feel a slight boost to my ego when I remember that it was me that she chose to sit next to. Those few glances that I stole I tried to memorize her face. At first glance she was like a perfectly molded porcelain doll, so fragile and breakable. But there was a powerful strength within her. If you paid attention to the way she walked or the way she held her pencil. Every movement was made with determination and grace.

Before I knew it, class was over. I slowly got up, putting my backpack over my shoulders, a bit sad that class with her had ended. I didn't know if she wanted me to walk her to class. Surely she would like to meet other people in this school. She could ask someone else and use it as an opportunity to make more friends.

"Edward?" she called for me.

I looked up to find her slightly leaning against my desk.

"Will you walk me to my next class again?" she asked.

I caught a quick glance at Mike glaring at me. I smiled.

"I'd love to."

As we walked the halls, she asked more about the school and things to do around town. I was trying to think of anything that would sound remotely interesting to her. I told her about the mall (all girls like to shop, right?) and some popular hangouts. To be honest, I didn't really know what kids my age do for fun. My fun usually consisted of locking myself up in my room all night and working on experiments or projects and maybe the occasional visit from Jasper, Alice or Ben. Sometimes we all went to the movies or out to dinner but that was the extent of our nights. I didn't really party and the only time I had actually been to one was to help pick up Alice and Jasper's drunk siblings. I hoped that by the time I dropped her to her classroom, I hadn't made myself seem like a completely bore to hang out with.

"Thanks again," she said before I made my departure. I looked down at her and into her eyes. She seemed a bit sad, maybe a little wistful. I was confused at what I had done to make her feel that way.

"You know, you have the most beautiful eyes," she said out of nowhere.

"Um…thanks," I said not knowing how to respond.

"They remind me of someone I cared very much about."

"Oh." I still couldn't find anything else intelligent to respond with. I wanted to ask who that person was and why it made her so sad to think of them. I prayed that it wasn't an ex-boyfriend.

"I'll see you later?"

"Okay," I said not being able to move my feet in the direction of my classroom. I watched her again as she walked into her classroom and took a seat. By the time I finally turned around, I was caught off guard by Rosalie, Jasper's sister blocking my way.

"Tell my brother that he needs to find a ride home," she said abruptly.

Would it kill her to ask politely? Was it so hard to say: 'Hello, Edward. Could you please tell Jasper that he will need to find a ride home?' Unfortunately, this is how she spoke to everyone at this school and it drove me insane. I watched her bark out orders, while they just stood there, ecstatic that she gave them two seconds of notice. They were willing to do whatever she told them to do, just to get on her good graces. I was one of the few who could care less about winning Rosalie's affections and I still wondered how I managed to still stay off of her shit list. She could make your life a living hell if she really wanted to. I glanced at Bella quickly, feeling pity for her having class with Rosalie. Rosalie didn't like competition and I knew she would try and make life difficult for Bella.

I knew how Rosalie worked. I've seen it happened many times. She would act like she was best friends with the girl and as soon as she could find something juicy to expose she would. It still made me sick to think of what she did to Angela. The poor girl had to transfer out of the school. Ben was devastated. He had a huge thing for her.

"I'm not one of your lackeys Rose. Tell him yourself," I told her as I tried to pass her by but she stepped to the side blocking my way.

"You'll see him before I do."

"Rose, I don't understand why you can't just give him a ride home." I was getting more irate the longer I conversed with her.

"Because I'm going to the mall."

"Your house is on the way to the mall."

"I don't want to be seen in public with him," she said as if it so obvious. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Everyone already knows he's your brother," I said as I tried to step by again but I was blocked…again. I can't believe those two were able to share a womb without killing each other.

"What are you doing by Mrs. Smith's room? Didn't you take Physics last year?"

I looked at her suspiciously. I was surprise that she apparently paid attention to my class schedule.

"I was walking Bella to class."

"Bella? The new girl?" She peaked through the door and I saw her eyes narrow when she spotted Bella. She was sizing her up. This wasn't a good sign.

"Back off Rose," I inwardly cringed as the words left my mouth. I sparked her interest.

"Already over Tanya?"

I wasn't going to justify her with an answer. To be honest, at this point, I was just too embarrassed to have had an interest in the first place.

"I heard about your date," she continued. "Tanya said you were all over her and she had to break things off because she realized how obsessed you were with her. She said you were stalking her all weekend."

I cocked my head to her, surprised that she would even believe that story. We may not have been good friends, but we had known each other for pretty much our whole lives. Truthfully, I had been obsessed with Tanya since before that night, but it wasn't like I stalked her. I definitely wasn't waiting in the bushes for her. But for anyone to think I actually mauled her during the date…well, that was pretty unrealistic. I'm not huge on excessive public displays of affection and I know I usually come off as pretty standoffish to people. Plus, Rose saw me on Sunday. After I cleaned out my car, I spent the rest of the evening venting to Jasper at his house about it. So obviously, I was not out stalking her.

"I figured it wasn't true. Tanya is a shitty liar." She shrugged her shoulders.

Just then the bell rang and I was pissed that now I was officially late. I took off down the hall.

"Bye Cullen!" Rosalie yelled down the hall laughing, tickled pink for making me late.

~*~*~*~

I made my way to my locked so I could finally put my backpack away and grab my lunch. As I shut my locker door, I found Ben leaning up against the wall.

"Jasper is pissing me off," he said immediately, not looking at me but glaring down the hall. I followed Ben's stare to find Jasper making his way to us with his girlfriend Alice under his arm. While Jasper remained anti-high school and anti- establishment, Alice was the complete opposite. She was class president, head of the homecoming committee and because she was so tiny she was perfect on top of the pyramid on the cheerleading team. She loved Westchester High School and Westchester High School loved her. Where Jasper had nothing nice to say about anyone, Alice always had something nice to say about everyone. Though they seemed polar opposites, when they were together, somehow it made sense.

"Oh?" I said as I looked back at him.

"He has got a major case of senioritus and he expects me to bail him out already. I'm not doing it anymore. He is abusing my God given talents."

"Hacking is a God given talent?"

"Did you know he hasn't been to one class today?" he continued on ignoring my question. "What do you suppose he does when he isn't in class? I know its not hanging out with Alice. We both have 1st and 3rd hour together and she was at both of them."

"I don't know. He hung out with me a bit at the library during 1st hour."

"Well, I'm not doing it anymore. I'm done. Hacking into the school system to change his attendance record is becoming a full time job," he stopped for a moment and I watched him as he looked like he was in deep thought. "I won't do it anymore…. unless he pays me. And he can't just pay me $10. My services require more money than that."

I shook my head. I wasn't getting into the middle of it.

"Hey Edward," Alice said as her and Jasper made their way to us. "I heard you decided to stay."

"Stay? When were you going to leave?" Ben asked a bit irritated. He hated being out of the loop.

"I thought about it. Finishing the rest of high school at home was starting to sound appealing," I said to him.

My eyes started to roam the halls looking for Bella. I was hoping that maybe she would want to sit with me at lunch.

"This doesn't have to do with the date with Tanya does it?" Ben asked.

How many more times does this date have to be brought up? I was trying to forget it happened all together. I glared at him.

"Well you know, maybe if you hadn't groped her boob at dinner maybe she would have gone out on a second date with you," Ben said laughing.

I stared at him with my eyes wide. Tanya seems to have a vivid imagination.

"What other rumors are going around?" I asked.

"I heard you followed her into the bathroom," Alice said.

"I heard you cried when she told you she didn't want to go out with you again," Jasper chimed in.

"Really? Well…" I started but stopped. I was about to lose my temper and get into a rant about how she was a drunken slob who puked all over my car floor when I saw Bella turn around the corner. Unfortunately she was walking with Rosalie. She smiled as she spotted me and started to make her way over. Rosalie followed her lead, uncomfortably.

"Hi Bella," I said. "Would you like to sit with me at lunch today?"

"I seriously don't think Bella would want to sit with losers," Rosalie interjected but glared directly at her brother.

"I'm sure she doesn't want to sit with sluts either. God only knows what STDs you could catch at your table," Jasper countered.

"Fuck you."

"Rosalie," Bella interrupted turning to Rose. "Thank you so much for befriending me and showing me around but let's just be honest with each other. You don't really like me and I'm not really a fan of you. I know you only want to friends because you're afraid I'm going to steal your boyfriend or the homecoming crown. So trust me when I say this, I have_ no interest _in either. So let's just leave it at that."

Everyone was quiet as we looked at Rosalie waiting for her to explode. No one really has ever spoke to her like that before. I couldn't help but admire how sincere it sounded.

"I think I'm in love," Jasper whispered to Alice. Jasper was instantly won over. Anyone that made Rosalie look like an ass ranked high on his list.

Alice tried to stifle a giggle. Alice tolerated Rose for her brother. Even though Jasper and Rosalie hated each other, Alice and Emmett remained close. The only major disagreement between them was Jasper. There was nothing particular that he disliked about Jasper, it just seemed he had a hard time dealing with the fact that his baby sister was not a baby anymore.

Rosalie just stood there like she didn't know what to do or what to say. What Bella said seemed completely honest and well, I'm sure Rosalie was just relieved that her boyfriend and crown were no longer in jeopardy. Before anything could happen, Rosalie's boyfriend Emmett came up from behind her and draped his arm over her shoulders.

"Hey babe," he said as he gave her a small kiss on the forehead.

"Hey," she said muttered still glaring back at Bella.

Rosalie watched Emmett look at Bella appreciatively. She quickly took his hand, marking her territory. I rolled my eyes. Rosalie was just as insecure as she was beautiful. The only redeeming quality of Emmett and Rose was their unfaltering devotion to each other. Of course Emmett would notice a good looking girl, but he would probably kill himself if he ever lost Rose.

With that, Jasper and Alice took off towards the cafeteria. Whenever Emmett was around, Jasper went the complete opposite way. Emmett glared at Jasper as they walked down the hall. Very casually, Jasper let his hand that was around Alice's waist to slowly fall down to her butt, obviously trying to intending to piss Emmett off. Jasper always pushed it to the limit with Emmett, which was not a good thing considering Emmett was twice his size. I only assume the reason why Emmett hasn't beaten the crap out of him yet is because he'd upset Alice along with Rosalie's parents. You don't want to piss off your future in-laws.

"Get your hands off my sister!" Emmett yelled down the hallway towards them.

"Stop boning mine!" Jasper yelled back not turning around but held up his middle finger.

"Fuck, I hate that kid," Emmett muttered as Rosalie pulled him down the hall.

An awkward silence fell as it was now just Ben, Bella and I standing in the hallway.

"So yeah…um…did you want to sit with me today?" I asked again nervously running my hand through my hair.

"Sure."

"Hi Bella, I'm Ben," Ben said making sure we didn't forget him. He held out his hand.

"It's nice to meet you," she said shaking his hand.

We continued our way to the cafeteria, making our way through the double doors.

"Did you need to buy your food?" I asked when I noticed her hands were empty.

"I'm not really that hungry. I had a big breakfast."

"Oh. Well, if you get hungry, I can share some of my sandwich with you," I offered.

"Eh, Edward…no offense but the sandwich you bring is pretty gross," Ben interjected.

"Gross?" Bella questioned.

"Yeah…you'll see. He brings the same one everyday. I have crackers if you want them. They are far better than your other option."

"Well, thanks guys. I should be okay. But now I'm curious about this sandwich."

I found Alice and Jasper sitting at our same table we claimed for the past two years. It was in the far back corner of the room but in front of one of the large windows.

"Hi. I'm Alice and this is Jasper," Alice said as sat down at the table. Jasper nodded to her.

"Nice to meet you," Bella said with a slight wave.

"Sorry we didn't introduce ourselves sooner. It's best to keep Jasper and Emmett always 20 yards away from each other."

Bella nodded her head and laughed. I turn to look at her and watch her eyes sparkle a bit. I looked around the cafeteria and watched many glances turn at our table. They were all looking at Bella. I admired how she acted normally, like no one was watching her at all.

"So where did you move from?" Alice asked.

"Just from the city. Not too far away," Bella said.

"Oh! It must have been wonderful living in the city. All the night life and shopping!"

"Yeah, it was fun, but it's nice to live in a quiet suburb for once."

"Why did you move?" Ben asked.

"My mother wanted a home with a yard. She was tired of New York City."

I started to pull out all of my lunch out the paper bag while I continued listening to their conversation. I took out my peanut butter sandwich, opened up and laid it out on top the paper bag. I began to peal my banana, cutting slices then placing them on my slices of bread. After, I took my small bag of marshmallows and sprinkled them on top. I put the slices back together and took a bite. I looked up from my sandwich to find all four faces staring at me. Three of the faces looked back at me with utter disgust but Bella looked at me in awe. I chewed slowly and swallowed.

"What?" I asked.

"That is disgusting," Ben complained.

"I've been eating this every day at lunch since we were all in elementary school. I think it's time to get over it."

Jasper made a gagging sound and Alice laughed. They all went back to their conversation.

"Hey," Bella said softly beside me. I looked back at her and was rendered speechless. She had leaned into me and I took notice of how close her lips were to mine. She had this amazing smile on her face and I felt my heart skip a bit as she bit her bottom lip. "Did you learn to make your sandwich from someone?"

"Actually, yeah. My grandfather. No one has ever asked me before," I said.

I watched her smile grow a bit brighter.

"Are you close with him?"

"When he was alive. He died when I was pretty young."

She nodded her head and turn back to the others.

~*~*~*~

_**July 1999**_

My grandfather and I were sitting in the kitchen preparing our peanut butter, marshmallow and banana sandwiches. He was cutting the bananas while I got to sprinkle the marshmallows. I stood on a stool as I wasn't tall just yet to see over the counter. My grandfather lived in an awesome home. It was an old firehouse that he renovated. He had purchased it after my grandmother and he split up. There was still a sliding pole that went from the third floor all the way down. I could spend hours running up two flights of stairs and sliding back down.

I spent almost every weekend of my childhood at my grandfather's house. I absolutely loved being there. It was where I could be whatever I wanted. I was a mad scientist, a magician, an astronomer, or a musician. He would spend the whole weekend teaching me wonderful things. He was the smartest man I knew and he seemed to just get me. He understood my need to know about everything and my desire to learn how everything worked.

Every Thursday night I would pack my overnight bag, which only consisted a project that I was working on and my teddy bear that I wasn't ready to let go just yet, for the next day. I had my own room, with my own clothes and toiletries at my grandfather's house. I would be counting down the hours till school was over, basically bouncing in my seat till the bell would ring those Friday days. My mother would pick me up from school waiting in the parking lot and I would run over to the car. It was always my mother who dropped me off. My father was never on good terms with my grandfather. He usually avoided him altogether. To this day, I never bothered to ask why.

"All ready?" he asked as he placed the sandwiches on a plate and grabbed a couple cans of pop.

"Yep!" I responded enthusiastically. I pulled my Dragon Ball Z backpack over my shoulders.

I followed him up the winding stairs and he pushed the roof hatch open. He held out his hand to help me up on the roof. It was a warm summer night. A telescope was already set out, aiming towards the sky. I ran over to the picnic table, yanking my backpack open and pulling out all of my supplies. Tonight he was going to show me how to map out the stars. I took a bite out of my sandwich and studied the map carefully. I looked over to my grandfather who was adjusting the scope.

"Hey Grandpa," I called over to him. "Guess what mom said."

"What?"

"She said when I turn 16; I can drive here all by myself. She said I could come here every day if I wanted. She said all I have to do is ask you."

If I had had my way back then, I would have moved in with him. Everything here seemed…magical. It was where the impossible was possible.

I looked over to my grandfather who was chuckling. He walked over to the table and sat down.

"That would be very nice, Edward. But when your sixteen, I highly doubt you'll still want to hang out with an old man like me," he said.

"Why? I'll always want to hang out with you."

"I'm sure you'll want to hang out with your friends and date girls by then."

I watched him take a sip of his drink while I tried to figure out what he was saying. I had friends now, and I still preferred hanging out with him instead. Jasper was cool and all, but all we ever did was play video games. And the thought of me wanting to date girls was something I couldn't fathom. I knew the girls that I went to school with and they were definitely not kids I wanted to spend my time with. They giggled a lot and they always poked at you. It was terribly annoying. My grandfather took in my confused expression and laughed.

"I know it's hard to believe now. But trust me, you will meet a special girl one day and she will turn your world upside down."

I snorted.

"I don't think so grandpa. Girls are stupid."

"Not all…" he trailed off looking up at the sky. A sad smile formed on his lips.

**A/N: Thank you so much for taking interest in this story. Hope you liked this chapter. All reviews are welcomed…good or bad. Please let me know what you think of this story. Thanks again!!!!**


	6. She Isn't that Bad

**A/N: Well, I am back home. It was a great mini vacation! Hope you like this next chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 5 – **_**She Isn't That Bad**_

_**November 14, 1961**_

_**Bella's POV**_

I'm frightened of many things. The dark for one gives me an unsettling feeling. Not of the unknown lurking about but by the possibility of being stuck there forever and never seeing daylight again. I'm also terrified of the end of the world. Sometimes my imagination gets the best of me and I wonder where I will be when the world ends. If the earth should explode, would I just float around in the infinite space all alone? When everything comes to an end, I'll still be around, with no way to end the torture of loneliness.

I envy the mythical immortal creatures. Vampires can end their lives with a stake, werewolves can be killed by a silver bullet and demons can be torn apart and burned. None of those hurt me…nothing does. I've wished on every star that they did.

Unfortunately immortality does not give you any sense of security or protection. When death is no longer a fear to you, it is living forever that becomes absolutely daunting. If anything, your fears become worse…more exaggerated. You have more time to think about them, string out outrageous 'could be's in your head. At least death is final, the end to suffering or torture. But my biggest fear is that I'll enjoy certain moments too much…I'll enjoy _him_ to much. Knowing that when nothing last forever, especially him, would I be okay at the end? Would I be able to stay sane after he is gone?

Carlisle never brought up what happened that day that we did my hearing test. I was thankful because I honestly didn't know how to response. Everything went back to normal except now there was a huge elephant in the room and it only seemed to get bigger everyday. He would brush up against me slightly or stand a bit closer to me than usual, which made things only that more intense. I could tell he would want to bring it up again and he would strategically maneuver the conversation to go there, but I was always one step ahead, ready to bail at a moments notice. What made things worse was that I felt the same way for him and my love grew as fast as that elephant did. It was getting harder to walk away when the only thing I wanted in this world was to kiss him.

So why did I resist? Why hadn't I let things fall into place or let it take its course? I loved him enough to know that he deserved more. Far more than what I could give him. He deserved to fall in love with someone his equal, someone who could give him a family and someone who could be with him when he took the journey to heaven. I understood how easy to was to fall in love with me. His work was his passion and he had fallen in love with what he had created.

Today we were testing my endurance. I had been on a treadmill now for about 6 hours at top speed. I wasn't tired at this point, just bored. I hated these endurance tests. Last week he put me on a stationary bike. I watched him while I ran, making his peanut butter, banana and marshmallow sandwich.

"How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked after he took a bite.

"Good."

"Do you feel like your getting tired? How does your body feel?"

"Nope, my body doesn't feel any different. None of my muscles are sore. I feel like I could probably run forever and still feel okay. Is there any way to make this thing go faster? I'm getting pretty bored here. You know, we never really tested how fast I could run. I would be interested in knowing that."

"Well, it seems like you have no loss of breath," Carlisle chuckled as he marked something on his clipboard.

"How much longer did you want to do this?"

"Let's try for a few more hours?"

I groaned.

"On second thought, I'm pretty wiped out. I can feel my legs cramping," I lied.

"Isabella, are you lying?" he said as he tucked his pen behind his ear.

"No?" I felt my guilty smile creep on my face.

"Really? Because it would be a shame if all my data was incorrect."

A beautiful crook smile danced on his lips. He knew I was a terrible liar.

"Alright, I'll keep running but you have to entertain me. I'm getting pretty bored here."

"What do you propose I should do to entertain you?" he said casually on top of his desk and putting the clipboard down. I looked over and smiled. His fingers began drumming against his leg.

"I don't know…tell me about your family. What was your mother like?"

"I didn't know her that well. She died when I was pretty young but from what I remember she was soft spoken, very affectionate and she loved to paint. Some of those paintings that are in my room are works of hers."

"Is the one of the beach hers?"

"Yes."

"That one is my favorite."

"Mine too."

"What about your father? Is he still alive?"

I watched his eyebrows furrow together and his smile falter.

"Yes, we're not that close. He was a preacher but had stopped practicing. He had a hard time with my mother's death. When my mother died, so did a lot of his compassion. When I was old enough, I moved out and went to college. I haven't spoken to him since."

"No brothers or sisters?"

"Nope, just me."

I nodded my head.

"Did you make a lot of friends in college?" I asked.

"Um, no not really," he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I pretty much immersed myself into my studies. I was only there for two years and graduated early. In my last semester, a representative from Volteria came and offered me the opportunity to continue my research here and continue my studies. I moved in and have been here ever since."

"Any girlfriends?"

He chuckled.

"No, maybe a date here and there but nothing serious."

"How come?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know. Maybe I couldn't find someone interesting enough to sway my attention from my work."

"Don't worry. I'm sure you'll find the right girl soon enough," I said not sure if I was ready for him to meet that girl.

"I already have," he said unapologetically, with a smirk on his lips.

I wasn't sure how to respond to him. Technically, I was his work. I wondered if we had met underneath different circumstances would he still feel the same. I truly didn't believe that I alone, whoever that person was before I became what I am, would have been enough to capture his attention. I felt trapped there on the treadmill as I tried to look for escape routes. I wasn't ready to have this conversation yet. Luckily I was saved by a soft knock on the door.

"Dr. Cullen?" a woman said softly as she opened the door.

"Yes?" Carlisle said as he stood up from the desk.

A woman, in her mid twenties, with dark hair appeared before us. She was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. Her perfect dark hair was pulled up in a pony tail while her bangs fell loosely over her eyes. She nervously swept them over to the side and out of her eyes. I looked back at Carlisle as he seemed a bit surprised at the beautiful woman that was standing in his lab.

"Hi, I'm Esme Platt," she held out her hand. "I was assigned here as your new assistant."

"Nice to meet you," he said shaking her hand, with a perplex look on his face. "I'm sorry. I'm just a bit confused. I never requested for an assistant."

"It's alright, you didn't. I've been a fan of yours. I read a few of your published articles on molecular engineering. I requested to work specifically you. They said that it would be alright, if you were okay with that arrangement."

My eyes narrowed at their hands that were still touching. I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with anger… or was that jealousy. I wanted nothing more than for Carlisle to tell her that he didn't have any use for her and to go away. I was happy and content with it only being just Carlisle and I.

"What do you think Isabella?" he asked still looking at her. "Do you think we could use more help on this project?"

I fought the urge to say no. I knew if I did, it would be for my own selfish reasons. I didn't want to share.

"Sure, if you think you'll need an assistant," I said trying to act nonchalant about it.

Esme's eyes finally tore away from Carlisle and stared at me with wide eyes. I'm not sure if it was how fast I was running or the amount of time that was registering on the treadmill that surprised her first. She looked back to Carlisle with questioning eyes.

"This is Isabella. She is the project I have been working on," he said motioning to me.

"Nice to meet you," she said with a little wave of her fingers.

I simply nodded and kept running, focusing intensely on the clock that was ahead of me.

~*~*~

_**September 12, 2008**_

I had been watching Edward for about a couple of weeks now. Becoming friends with him had been a lot easier than I had expected. He walked me to my classes and always sat right next to me in the ones we shared together. My favorite part in the day was right before lunch. He would casually lean against his locker, looking down the hall, with that beautiful crook grin as he saw me appear. I heard the whispers about us that trailed throughout the halls and classrooms. My ears always perked with interest whenever his name or mine were talked about. Our names being mentioned simultaneously with each other seemed to be happening a lot. Edward's new girlfriend, they called me. I could help but laugh at the absurdity of all. For one, we only knew each other for a couple of weeks and well, we never even been on a date. And though no one knew, I was old enough to be his grandmother. Edward was just a child compared to me.

I had a mission and once it was completed, I would disappear from his life forever. This was how it was supposed to be… how it had to be. I could only hope that when I left, he would only have fond memories of me. I refused to leave bad ones again. But as much as I tried to focus at the task at hand, I couldn't help but get caught up in all the talk and buzz at school. It left me with lots of material to fantasize about. I wondered what it would be like to really be with Edward.

As I watched him wait for me when I came down the hall, I desperately wished I was a normal teenage girl. An unbelievably lucky teenage girl, who some how managed to catch the eye of such an amazing boy as Edward. I imagined myself being able to go up to him and casually kiss him on the lips as boyfriends and girlfriends do when they say hello. I wondered how it would feel if his arm lazily wrapped around my shoulders as we walked together to the cafeteria. Or if he would hold me close enough where I could feel his heart beat inside his chest. And that was what brought me back into reality. He would never hear or feel the beat of mine. I was to only become friends with him, I reminded myself. I needed to be only close enough to find out what and how much information was passed on from Carlisle to him. I was afraid the Edward might be too smart for his own good.

"Hello," he said as I met him in the hall and continued walking towards the cafeteria. "Is your day going well so far?"

"Yes," I nodded. "Very well. And yours?"

"Perfect now."

I looked up at him with a flirty smile I couldn't help but make. His cheeks flushed slightly as he hadn't meant to be so honest but smiled back brightly to show me that that was how he sincerely felt.

We passed the women's restroom when my ears picked up on some faint sniffling. Concern and curiosity got the best of me and I decided to see what was up. Maybe there was something I could do to help.

"Hey, I'll meet up with you in the cafeteria. I need to use the restroom," I said.

He nodded his head.

"Would you like me to get something from the lunch line or did you eat a big breakfast again?" he asked.

"Yeah, big breakfast again. Thanks for asking though," I said as I made my way to the bathroom. I couldn't help but smile at myself as I shook my head in sort of disbelief. For the many times I had gone to high school, I never came across someone like Edward. Most teenage boys are not that chivalrous.

I opened the door and made my way inside. The sniffling was coming from the last stall closest to the wall. I gently tapped against the door.

"Is everything alright?" I asked quietly. I heard a soft blow of the noise and another sniffle. "Are you okay?"

I waited for a few seconds but didn't get response.

"You know, sometimes it helps to just talk about it. I'm a really good listener," I said trying my hardest to help a fellow female out. I instantly knew it was about a boy. It was always about a boy when you found a girl crying in the bathroom stall at high school. I couldn't help but feel it was my duty to lend my advice to these young girls. Though, I was never really sure who took my advice to the heart or who just let me prattle on while all they could think about was the boy they had been lusting over. My constant advice in every speech that I gave was that he wasn't worth it. It was the best advice, especially considering the many times I had gone through high school and every time the advice rang truer than before. High school boys are beyond a doubt never worth the tears.

I tapped the door again with my fingers, my nails making a clicking sound. I was about to give up and turn around when I heard the lock click open. A beautiful blonde girl stepped out slowly, still sniffling as she wiped her nose. Her reddened blue eyes looked at me with utter shock and disappointment. She groaned loudly and stomped to the sink. I was a baffled at what I could have done to have warranted that type of reaction.

"I'm sorry, it's just…you were the last person I wanted to see today," she said looking back at me through the mirror. She washed her hands and then patted her eyes with the water, trying to make them less puffy.

"Excuse me?" I didn't even know the girl. How could I have been the last person she wanted to see?

"You're dating Edward Cullen right?"

There was that tug again, the one where I felt myself wanting to claim him as my own. It felt like I was in quick sand, always struggling to do what was right to pull myself out when all I really wanted to do was give up and fall right in.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I said feeling a little please with myself for dodging the question.

"_Everything_," she said dramatically rolling her eyes. She stared back at herself in the mirror. Tears starting to run down her face again.

"God, I'm so stupid," she muttered to herself.

I went over to grab a couple of paper towels and handed them to her. She took them and began blotting underneath her eyes.

"Thanks," she said and turned back to look at herself in the mirror. "Ugh, I can't go back out there looking like this."

"Wait it out a bit in here. It's only lunch." I leaned against the wall crossing my arms over my chest. I watched her for a moment trying to compose herself. She was a really pretty girl, nearly as pretty as Rosalie. She seemed to be the kind you never thought would have boy problems of her own. She was the girl that was always chased after, never the one to chase.

"So what does this have to Edward Cullen?" I said trying to get her to open up.

"I had a date with him a couple weeks ago. It was a disaster," she spoke quietly. _Ahh, so this is Tanya. _I had heard the many rumors about what had exactly gone on in that date. Most of them sounded pretty far fetch. I've only known Edward for a couple of weeks but he seemed the farthest away from a boob grabbing stalker.

"What happened?" I asked.

She looked back at me, debating whether or not she really wanted to share that information with me. She sighed as if she was defeated.

"You're new here so you wouldn't know who Marcus Stone was, but he basically ran this school. I dated him for about two years," she said her face a bit smug. "You should have seen Rosalie's face when he asked me out that first week of our freshman year. God she was so jealous. Marcus was already the star quarterback on the football team even though he was only a junior and he asked me out…a freshman. I couldn't believe how lucky I was. I just moved into town and instantly I was part of the popular crowd."

I literally had to bite my tongue. I tried to keep my face neutral trying hard not to roll my eyes.

"Anyways, we broke up this summer and that was when I had found out Edward had thing for me…apparently since freshman year. I couldn't believe it. _Everyone_ has a thing for Edward. What's sick is that he doesn't even know it. He is the complete opposite of Marcus. He doesn't care who likes him, he is incredibly smart and genuine nice guy. And well…you know what he looks like."

I nodded my head. Edward was without a doubt gorgeous, especially during his awkward moments.

"If I would have known, I would have broken up with Marcus a long time ago. I only stayed with him that long because of the status. I didn't even care when we broke up. I was so stoked when Edward asked me out on a date. But I totally blew it when we finally went out. I was so nervous…an absolute wreck."

"Nervous?" I asked.

"Of course! Edward is so smart. I just didn't want to seem like a dumb blonde to him but I seemed to have done just that. Dinner was a disaster. I couldn't think of anything smart to say to him, everything that came out of my mouth just kept sounding stupid. I started to freak out when I saw that he wasn't having a good time. So I excused myself to use the bathroom and decided to drink a bit."

I gave her a questioning look. She put her head in her hands, shaking her head.

"Yeah, I had my flask with me…I don't know why I even brought it. I was planning on just taking a couple of shots. Mellow myself out, you know? Give myself some liquid courage. But I was so nervous; I ended up just drinking the whole thing. I was a fucking mess. I don't remember much after that, but I know I puked in his car."

"So what about those rumors? Where did those come from?" I asked. If she was telling me the truth now, I couldn't imagine it was her who said all those things.

"Stupid Mike. I mean, I'm partly to blame, I didn't correct them. But my ego was bruised and he was making me feel better. I saw Rosalie that Monday morning, with that smug look on her face and Mike was hanging around me. She asked me about the date and well Mike basically said all those things. I just didn't correct him. Ugh…I even skipped class to make out with him."

"Why would Mike say anything?"

"I dunno, I think he has penis envy or something. He always had something against Edward."

"Have you tried talking to Edward?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm now getting death glares from him. He hates me."

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you."

She rolled her eyes at me. I watched her as she threw out the paper towels in the trash and turned back to me.

"So are you guys dating or not?" she came out all of sudden, sounding a bit impatient.

"No, we're not." But I wish I was, even though I know we can't.

Her mood brightened slightly and a smile formed on her lips.

"Here is my advice," I started. It was killing me to do so but I knew it was the right thing to do. She seemed like a girl with a good heart…a bit flaky though. "Try talking to him again. Apologize for that night and tell him that the truth."

"The truth?"

"Yes, tell him you were nervous about the date and that you're sorry for what happened. Then ask him to give you another shot."

She looked at me with complete disbelief in her eyes. She took a few moments to see if I was actually serious about what I was telling her to do. I knew doing that would be way out of her comfort zone.

"Do you think he would say yes?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "You'll never know unless you ask."

She nodded her head.

"Come on, we should get back to lunch," I said leading her out of the bathroom.

"Do I look alright? I don't look like I've been crying, do I?"

"Nope, you look fine," I lied. It was that or I told her the truth and she'd lock herself in there all day.

As we approached the doors of the cafeteria I spotted Edward sitting at the table. He was looking back at Tanya and me with a worried and confused expression.

"Thanks Bella…for listening," she said as she turned to me and gave me an awkward hug. I stood there slightly shocked but smiled and nodded my head.

I watched her go off to sit with her group of friends while I made my way to my table. I sat down on the table and turned to look at Edward who was now glaring at Tanya across the room.

I leaned into his ear and said softly, "Cut her some slack, Edward. She isn't as bad as you think she is."

He turned his head as if he was going to argue with me on the subject but stopped abruptly when we both noticed how close our heads were together. My breath hitched as his bright green eyes bore intensely into mine. His lips were so close to mine and I could feel my body being pulled towards them. I had never felt anything like this before…this immense intensity or attraction to someone. I felt all my muscles become ridged as I painfully tried to pull away. Finally, I broke our stare and looked down at the table trying to make sense of what happened and compose myself. As soon as I felt ready, I looked up at caught Alice staring at me with curious eyes. She had seen what happened. As if she all of sudden figured it out, she flashed me a big smile. I smiled back at her awkwardly and tried to turn my attention to Jasper and Ben who were apparently arguing.

"Come on, Ben. Just this once," Jasper complained.

"It's never just this once. I don't see what is so hard about attending class. They rest of us seem to have no problem with it," Ben said with mouth full of food.

"I'm working on something."

"You can't do it after school?"

"Nope."

"Fine, then you're going to have to start paying me."

"Ben, I thought we were friends."

"We are friends but you're starting to abuse it."

"You'd really have no problem taking money from such a good friend like me?"

Ben thought about for a moment. "Yeah, I'd have no problem with it," he said and then took another bite of his sandwich.

Jasper sat there for a second tapping his finger against the table. He leaned in a bit closer to Ben.

"What if I could get Angela to show up at the party tonight?" he said as he raised his eyebrows. Ben turned his head to him with wide eyes and even a wider smile.

"Party tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah, my brother is throwing it tonight at the house," Alice said. "Our parents are out of town. We usually just hide out in my room. I hate it when he throws these parties. I only stay to make sure it doesn't get out of hand and no one is hooking up in any of the bedrooms."

I nodded my head.

"I was going to ask if you were going," Edward said shyly beside me.

"Are you?" I asked.

"I was playing with the idea."

"Sure, sounds fun."

Alice slipped me a piece of paper.

"Here is my address. Come over at 9."

I nodded my head and heard the bell ring.

"If you can get Angela to come to the party, your attendance record is taken care for the rest of the year," Ben said to Jasper as got up from the table. Jasper smiled triumphantly.

* * *

**A/N: Reviews are appreciated!! Thanks again for reading. **

**Also, I wanted to mention that I am on Twitter. You can follow where I am with all of my stories on there. My name is EllaRose00 **


	7. It Doesn't Hurt As Much With You

**A/N: Thanks again for all of the wonderful reviews. Hope you like this new chapter. Thank you also to all the people who have been following me on Twitter. I know I haven't put that much updates about my stories…and it may seem like I am a vicious alcoholic with all of my posts, but I'll try to do better!! So feel free to follow me and my crazy life.**

**Chapter 6 – **_**It doesn't hurt as much with you**_

_**September 12, 2008**_

_**Edwards POV**_

Welcome to my world of perfect homes with manicured lawns and long driveways. You can find several joggers running in the early mornings and hear the squeals of laughter as kids play in the streets in the afternoon. This is the place where Sundays are filled with afternoon barbeques with the neighbors and Fourth of July block parties in the summer. It is the perfect place to raise a perfect family. It is the ideal world of upper middle class.

It is here that the biggest worry for a kid my age is getting accepted to your first choice college or snagging that dream prom date. Daydreams of a brand new car, sitting in your driveway adorned with a large red bow, waits for you that morning of your 16th birthday is not uncommon. It is a place where every teen claims with much enthusiasm that can't wait to get to college so they can leave this dreadfully boring town but always find their way back.

I pulled up to my house, parking in the circular drive in front of the door. Against my father's wishes-I always parked there. This urge to always park there and piss him off was undeniable. I wish I had good reason why I did things to push his buttons, but to be honest my excuses are just not that clear to me yet. The relationship with my father has always been a struggle. I didn't know if it was because we were so different that made it near impossible to find common ground or if it was the air of resentment I always felt when I came near him. Both ways I avoided him and in turn he did his best to avoid me. This was normal. It was how he treated me for as long as I could remember. He spent long nights working in the city as a lawyer, leaving only my mother and me to entertain each other at dinner time and in the evenings. On the weekends, when I knew he would be home for longer periods of time, I made myself scarce. I'd lock myself in my room with my latest project or hang out at Jasper's house. We were strangers to each other.

As I walked through the front door, I could smell cookies baking. I smiled; they were peanut butter, my favorite. I set my book bag in the closet and kicked my shoes off.

"Edward?" I heard my mom call for me in the kitchen.

I made my way through the living room and into the kitchen. She was scoping up pieces of the cooking dough and placing it on a baking sheet. She turned around, wiping her brow with the back of her hand. She gave me a small smile, glad that I made it home in a timely manner, I'm sure.

"Hey mom," I said taking a seat at the kitchen island taking a warm cookie off the plate. I took a bite, reminding how much better this would taste with milk and jumped down from the tall stool. I went to grab the carton of milk and was ready to take a quick swig but felt something tap me on the arm.

"Please honey, use a cup," my mother said as she kept nudging with the glass. I sighed and took the glass from her. After I poured a glass I went back to the counter.

"So how was school?" she asked.

This was our daily routine. Every day I would come home and always find my mother in the kitchen. She was either starting to cook dinner or baking. I would sit at the counter and relay my day to her, even the non-consequential parts. I know that most guys my age were not as close as I was to my mother. I have to state though I am not a mama's boy. I did this mostly for her, I knew she needed this. My father was gone for most of the day and I knew how lonely she sometimes was. She immersed herself in the community projects as well as volunteered constantly at my school. I couldn't help but feel guilty as I couldn't shake the feeling the reason why he avoided the house was because of me.

"It was good. Same old...same old…" I trailed trying to think of anything exciting to say. "I got an A on that Biology exam." This wasn't surprising news. "I'm almost finished with my project for my on-line college class and uhm….Jasper and Rosalie got into another yelling match in the parking lot this morning. Apparently Jasper ate the last pop tart. I think Jasper was the victor is this one. He was the one who came to school on a full stomach."

"Oh?" she said as she placed the baking sheet into the oven. Jasper and Rosalie's epic sibling fights were known throughout the neighborhood. Many of them taking place right outside on their front lawn.

"Um…and Alice is having a party tonight."

She took of her mittens and leaned over the counter raising her brow at me. I hardly ever mentioned parties – this was something surprising. She grabbed one of her cookies and took a bite. My mother was pretty laid back than most. She always pushed me to go to parties, afraid that I was missing out on having a social life and was locking myself away with my studies. Most parents would forbid their kids to go to an un-chaperoned party, but my mother was just thrilled that I was getting out of the house.

"Really? You're planning on going?" she asked excitedly.

"Yeah…I mean…it couldn't hurt to make an appearance, right?"

I grabbed another cookie.

"Is Bella going to be there?" she said nonchalantly trying to be sly. I groaned and silently cursed Jasper or Alice. Both of them were capable of telling her about my new infatuation. Well if I was being honest with myself, Bella was becoming less of an infatuation and more of an obsession.

"She may stop by," I responded indifferently.

"So when do I get to meet her? Jasper told me she was very pretty…prettier than Tanya."

Jasper? Now I knew who I was going to kill. I rolled my eyes and pushed myself away from the counter.

"Mom…it's a little early for that." The need to get out of the kitchen before she went into anymore interrogating questions was overwhelming.

"Wait. Before you go I wanted to talk to you," she said suddenly. I looked up at her and urged her to go on. "Your father will be home for dinner tonight. I was hoping that if I baked your favorite cookies I could entice you or rather guilt you into having dinner with us."

I could feel my face become strained as it was an involuntary reaction whenever there was mention of my father. I felt bad for turning her down. I knew how much it would mean to her if I had dinner with them tonight but I was not up for another silent and awkward dinner with my father. I nervously ran my fingers through my hair and bit my lip. I saw her frown as she could read my mannerisms well.

"Edward, it would mean a lot to me if could try to put forth some effort into making some sort of relationship with your father. He won't be around forever…none of us will."

I scoffed. I hadn't seen much effort on his part. I looked at her with pleading eyes, hoping she wouldn't force me to join them. _Not today, I just can't deal with him today_, I thought, when I really knew I couldn't deal with him any other day. I watch her sigh in defeat.

"So what are you going to do about dinner then?" she said not bothering to hide her disappointment.

"I'll find something. I'll be okay."

"Before I forget, your grandmother called. She wanted to see you this weekend. Do you think you'll have time to visit her?"

My brows furrowed together. I usually only saw my grandmother when she stopped by to visit my parents. It was odd that she requested for me to visit her. I wondered what she wanted. This would be a first.

"Yeah sure."

With that I exited out of the kitchen and bounded for the stairs taking two steps at a time. My room was in the large attic. I was thrilled when my mother had convinced my father that I could use it as my room. The ceilings where angled but at least high enough that it didn't bother my 6'2" height, I just had to in the general middle of the room. It was long room with plenty of space. My bed was at the far end, set right underneath three large sky windows. A couch was in the center of the room across from my entertainment center. I had used some of the money that I had won at science competitions to buy that pretty extensive entertainment center as well as a computer system. Shelves and shelves of CDs and books covered the walls and lay lazily around the room. The other end of the room was my work space. My corner desk was filled with my latest experiment or new research that I was doing.

I was proud of my room, as weird as that may sound. It was a reflection of my accomplishments, said exactly who I was and who I wanted to be. Though my extensive book collection may have seemed a bit pretentious, I couldn't help but feel bit smug that I had read them all.

I walked over to my desk where I kept the journals from my grandfather left for me in his will. I had been reading them for the past year...a page here or there. He kept track of most of his life, from his early years in high school through the end of his life. When I first received them, I had avoided reading them for some time. I wasn't sure I was ready to know him that personally…if it would be too painful for me to know. But the more I read the more I found that we were very much alike. Conversely, it was a reminder of how much my father and I were so different. It made me suspiciously aware why my father avoided me – I reminded him too much of his father. I'd like to think I wasn't as obsessed with my work as my grandfather was but I find that I feel just as lonely. Sure I had friends, but my attachment to them was small. I never connected with anyone like I did with my grandfather. Maybe my expectations were just too big. I grabbed the leather bound book and checked the fridge in my room. I also kept a microwave in my room as well, anything to avoid the lower half of my home when my father was home. I grabbed a mountain dew and made my way to the couch to read.

_Date: December 22, 1960_

_I'm walking a fine line between sanity and insanity. I find myself having long, in depth conversations with my subject. This wouldn't seem odd behavior if these conversations weren't one sided as my subject is still in a comatose state. The beeping noise of her monitors is the only sound that responds to my questions as I ask her about her life or when I tell her about mine. Am I going crazy? I have completely immersed myself in my work so entirely, that I can pathetically say that she is the only person who I have conversed with for the past month. Why do I do this? What am I hoping to achieve in the end?_

_Tests so far have been positive. I hope by next year my formula will be ready for its first trial. Till then I hope that she remains stable. I can tell already that she is strong and a fighter. I can't help but get an overwhelming feeling of hope when I look at her. She will be the hero the whole world will be able to depend on. A real life superwoman. I pray that she will save us all from ourselves…especially me. _

~*~*~*~

I woke up to the sound of the garage door closing. I slightly groaned as I tried to right myself out of the awkward position that I had seem to of fallen in. I rubbed my neck trying to ease the kinks out of it and looked at the clock. It was 9:02pm. I couldn't believe I had slept for that long or that I had fallen asleep so fast. I debated on what time would be good to make an appearance at the party as obviously I hadn't been to many. I had absolutely no idea what time high school parties start. I change into a different shift, just a plain dark green long sleeve one, keeping my same jeans on. I run my hands through my hair, thinking I look pretty good as I check myself in the mirror.

I made my way throughout the house to find it empty and dark. I always enjoyed the peaceful silence of my home. My parents always went out on the weekend nights, whether it was a work party or just a date night. They were hardly home on the weekends, which was just fine with me. As I make it to the kitchen, turning on the lights, I decide to heat a pizza pocket. I tap my fork on the counter while waiting for the microwave timer to go off.

I can't help smile to myself knowing that I was going to see Bella tonight. I shook my head at myself trying to stop grinning like an idiot. I really am the biggest nerd. But before I could help it, the grin made its way back onto my face. I started to go over a game plan in my head. Tonight I would ask her out on a date since we never hung out with each other outside of school. Maybe if I play it off as something really casual she would be more willing to go. Or we could do a double date thing and invite Alice and Jasper, since my last one on one date didn't go so well. Lost in my thoughts, the loud bang on the glass door in my kitchen scared the shit out of me causing me to practically fall out of my sleep. I look up to find Jasper grinning at me like an idiot. I was surprised to find Angela with him, shyly hanging behind him.

"Not cool," I grumbled out as I open the sliding door, letting them in.

"Man, you should have seen the look on your face," Jaspers said laughing. I rolled my eyes and turn to Angela who I haven't seen in some time, surprised that Jasper somehow got her to go tonight.

"Hey Angela."

She gives me an awkward wave and leans against the counter. I took another bite of my food, trying to finish it as quickly as I could. I had forgotten how shy Angela was. I looked at Jasper, back at her and then back to Jasper. I cock my eyebrow at him wondering how on earth he convinced her to come tonight. We have known each other for such a long time, he can read me pretty easily, already knowing what I'm asking.

"Turns out that Angela here has a huge thing for our friend Ben for quiet some time," Jasper says giving me a cocky grin and puts his arm around her.

I looked at Angela who is blushing furiously, staring intently at the counter top.

"It's a good thing I ran into Angela today at the mall. I told her that coincidentally Ben has a huge thing for her too."

Angela can't help but grin wide as her cheeks turn a bit red. They seem like they would be a good match together. I look back at Jasper and got that feeling that he knew he had known that Angela had a thing for Ben for sometime. He had been probably waiting to tell him so he could use that bit of information to his advantage. I start to feel concern for Angela when I remember that Rosalie is going to be there. Angela probably hadn't talk to anyone from our school since she transferred out. I could see her hands that are placed in front of her on the counter are slightly shaking.

"Are you going to be okay at the party, Angela?" I asked her. She was biting her lip nervously.

"Um…I should be okay," she spoke so softly.

"We're going to climb through Alice's window. They won't even know she is there," Jasper said. "You ready?"

I nodded, grabbing my keys off the hook and we were out the door.

I remembered my earlier conversation with my mother and turned to punch Jasper in the arm.

"Ow! What the fuck was that for?" Jasper said as he rubbed his arm.

"You just had to tell my mom about Bella."

"I couldn't help it. I ran into her at the grocery store. It's not my fault she is nosy about your love life. She does that whole sweet, flirty thing and I can't help but spill everything. Plus she's hot."

I groaned and punched him again. He started to protest but I glared at him.

He sighed, "Okay…I deserved that."

We walked through the backyards to get to Alice's house. I could hear the music faintly as we got closer. It was convenient that we all lived in the same neighborhood. I chuckled as I noticed Alice still kept the ladder hidden underneath her deck and briefly wondered if Jasper still used it. It was confirmed when I saw how easily he set it up and watched him climb up. I motioned for Angela to go next and I followed after her. As I stumbled through the window, I found Alice on her bed looking at magazines.

"Hey Angela," Alice said sounding a bit too overly friendly. She nodded to me but made room for Angela to join her on the bed. I figured Alice was just trying hard to make Angela feel comfortable. "How have you been?"

"Good…better."

Alice nodded her head in understanding.

"I'm going to look for Ben," I announce as I head out the door and down the stairs.

The sound of the base pumping was deafening. I was walking around the home, now packed with wall to wall horny drunk teenagers, and couldn't help feel slightly envious at how comfortable they all looked. They all belonged there, almost as if they were hired extras on the set of some party scene in a teen movie. There was the emblematic game of quarters being played in the kitchen, the group of dancers grinding against each other in the living room and of course the random hookups for the night making out in the hallways. I, however, was out of place and completely lost in this scene. I stood there awkwardly, surveying the room, hoping to spot Bella. I couldn't shake the feeling of someone completely stopping this party sequence only to march up to me and tell me that I didn't belong. I took a deep breath, trying to reassure myself that that was not going to happen.

I made it to the kitchen just barely missing a collision with Mike Newton who was running away from Jessica Stanely, with what I was assuming her bra in his hand.

"Give it back, Mike!" she yelled and giggled as she chased him throughout the house.

"A deal is a deal. It's not my fault you lost the bet," he said as he stopped to turn to her as he dangled the piece above her head. She held on to her chest as she jumped to get her underwear back. It seemed I was the only one who felt awkward by this weird mating scene that was taking place.

I spotted Ben in the corner, standing by the keg talking to Tyler. I made my way over and nodded towards him.

"Here," he said giving me the cup that he had just finished filling. I'm not a big drinker but took the drink anyways as I didn't really know what to do with my hands. I nervously took a small sip of my drink knowing already that I'd probably be nursing it for the rest of the night.

"How's it going?" he asked.

"Um…good," I shrugged.

"So… where's Jasper?"

I smirked as I knew immediately he didn't care where Jasper was. He only wanted to know if Jasper was able to keep his end of the bargain.

"Upstairs," I simply said.

"Oh."

I watched Ben's brows furrow together and his glasses slip down his nose. He pushed the back up and tried to hide the disappointment in his face. It was like someone killed his puppy. Man, he really did have it bad for that girl. I watched him look around the house trying to think of any excuse to bail the party.

"She's upstairs, Ben," I confessed.

His eyes immediately lit up.

"Why didn't you fucking say so to begin with?" he said with the biggest grin on his face.

"Why didn't you just ask?"

He didn't answer but made a bee-line upstairs.

I rolled my eyes and went back to my original mission of trying to find Bella. I looked around once more only to find Emmett grinding up on Rosalie near the fireplace and already a few passed out guests on the couch with colorful profanities written on their faces. I caught Alice's eye as she made her way to fridge pulling out a couple of ice cream sandwiches, Jasper's favorite, and making her way back upstairs. She gave me a nod as she passed me by.

I leaned against the counter staring out the French doors that lead to the backyard. I was surprised to see the tree house I identified so much of my childhood with still standing. Emmett and Alice's father had it built when we were in kindergarten. It brought me back to a place when all of us got along- when reputations and cooties didn't matter. It is hard to believe now that the five of us had been such good friends back then. I didn't want to admit but I missed hanging out with Emmett and Rosalie. I remembered the hot summer nights, sneaking out of my bedroom with a flashlight and running through the backyards of my neighborhood to one of my favorite sanctuaries. We would stay awake telling ghost stories, seeing what the grossest thing Emmett would eat and sometimes we would just talk to the early morning and run back to our homes before the sun rose up.

I wondered when it all ended. Maybe it was when Emmett and Jasper starting to take notice that the girls were starting to get boobs. It could have been because of me. After my grandfather passed away, I couldn't help but feel withdrawn from them. Maybe it was me that let it all fall apart. The last time I remember even going to the tree house was the night of my grandfather's funeral.

I pushed myself off the counter badly wanting to go to the tree house all of a sudden. I had to see if it was still the same as I remembered it or if it had changed. I took a quick swipe of the place before heading out. No Bella…again. I sighed with disappointment as I figured she had probably decided not to come after all. To be honest, this really didn't seem like her scene. I honestly didn't know what I thought would happen tonight with her. I didn't know what I expected to accomplish. Making her my girlfriend by the end of the night? Highly unrealistic. I guess I just wanted to get to know her better. I wanted to know all of her secrets and for some reason, I knew she had many.

My eyes accidentally met with Tanya's. I could see her standing there in the corner looking back at me. Her eyes were a bit glazed over and I shuddered as I remembered the drunk Tanya that I had to deal with before. I watched her push herself off the wall, walking towards me with determination. I set my drink down on the countertop and made my way to the French doors as quickly as I could.

"Edward," I could hear her calling for me. I pretended not to hear her, making my way out the door and through the backyard. I stepped around the pool and headed towards the tree house. I waited for the sound of the door opening up behind me, afraid that she would follow but was relived when I didn't hear a thing.

The moon was bright tonight, illuminating the backyard and reflecting off the water from the pool. I could feel the gentle unseasonably warm breeze of the wind. The tree house looked exactly how I remembered it. I climbed the ladder below the tree house carefully, not really knowing how intact this tree house was after all these years. I hoisted myself over railing making note that at one time, this tree house seemed fairly large to me, now seemed uncomfortably small.

I lifted my head to peer into the tiny shack and there she was.

Bella laid on the floor underneath the sky window that Emmett, Jasper and I sawed out so many years ago. She was perfectly still, with her hands tucked behind her head as the moon shone brightly across her face. I sat there completely still, just watching her, wondering why she was hiding out here, what she was thinking and hoping that maybe she was thinking of me. She looked so beautiful and peaceful just laying as she was soaking up the light of the moon on her face. Her eyes closed and I watched her tap her foot lightly against the wall to the tune she was humming.

"How long are you planning on watching me?" she said suddenly catching me off guard.

I cleared my throat nervously and mumbled out a sorry. She shifted herself to the right and patted the space for me on her left. Taking that as an invitation I crawled over to her side and laid down beside her, looking up at the sky window. I faintly smiled when I remembered there was a time that I could easily stand up in this place without head going out the roof.

"Hiding?" I asked.

"Yeah…" she faintly chuckled. "I guess I am."

I could still faintly hear the party going on behind us through the sound of the trees rustling as they pushed against the wind. I heard her head turn to me but I kept my gaze on the moon.

"You?"

"I guess parties aren't really my thing," I said honestly.

"So how come you came tonight?"

_For You,_ I thought.

"I thought I'd give it a go. You only live through high school once."

She was silent for a moment but then said, "Well…at least you made it inside. I didn't even make it that far."

I nodded my head and I looked in the corner of my eye to watch her turn her face to the sky again.

We laid there for a while in perfect silence, listening to the wind hit the trees and looking up at the sky. It was perfect. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so at ease with someone. We could enjoy each other's company without the need to fill the awkward silences. I wanted to tell her then how much she meant to me and how I cared deeply for her even though I've only known her for these few weeks. I wanted to tell her everything I was feeling. I suppressed the urged to lay it out there. She turned to look at me again and I turned my head to look at her.

"What are you thinking?" she asked as her eyes stared at me as if she was searching for something.

"Um…the last time I was in this tree house," I said the first thing that popped into my head. I had chickened out and a silently cursed myself for being such a coward.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, it was the night of my grandfather's funeral. Actually it was the last time Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and I all hung out."

"I didn't know you all had been friends."

"I know…pretty surprising. We all grew up together. We were pretty close back then."

"What happened?"

"I don't know…," I shrugged my shoulders, "guess we just grew apart."

Maybe it had only been me that had grown apart. I remember that night and the months following after. I couldn't be around them. I couldn't be happy and more than that, I just didn't want to. I'm now thankful that at least Alice and Jasper were annoyingly persistent over the years to make sure our friendship continued. I wonder how things would be different if my grandfather was alive now.

"Do you miss him?" she said so softly it almost sounded like a whisper. Her eyes were sad and longing, like she was thinking of her own lost loved one. My eyes stared into hers and I knew we both too afraid to admit how much we missed the person we each lost.

"Yes," I whispered trying to be brave for us both.

"Me too," she whispered back as if too admit that there was someone she cared for deeply that she had lost. I could feel her grab for my hand and squeeze lightly. I laid there, completely still, just relishing her touch.

"It doesn't hurt so badly when I'm with you," she confessed.

_Me too_, I thought.

I felt her head rest against my shoulder, our fingers still tangled in each other. I wanted to move to the side of my body and completely face her. I repressed the urge to stroke her face, to reassure her that everything would be okay. I wanted nothing in this world but to take her pain away. Instead I laid there beside her, caressing the hand I was holding with my thumb. We laid there so still and calm, silently grieving for the ones that we had lost so long ago. I tried to fight my heavy eyes, wanting so much for this moment to last forever. I needed her. Before I gave in, I suddenly was brutally aware that I would do anything…absolutely anything to keep her by my side forever.

~*~*~*~

_**May 10, 2002**_

Death was a hard concept for me to grasp. It seemed ridiculous to me that one day a person could be there and the next they would simply be…gone. They told me he was some place better and that he was happy to be where he was but I couldn't believe them. How could he happy without me? Why hadn't he taken me with him? If it was some place so much better than where we all were then why doesn't everyone just die to get there now?

I had never been to a funeral before my grandfathers. This was my first one. I didn't know what to expect or how to act. I watched my mother, trying to pick up on any clues on what I should do. When she bowed her head, so did I. When she went to the casket, I followed after her. I remember standing outside at the burial, the sun warming the top of my head, and all I could think about was what to do with my hands as they lay awkwardly by my sides. I wondered if I should be crying now and if I should be feeling more than I did.

I remembered that it was Friday. Today he was supposed to help me with my school science project for the annual fair. I remember feeling angry, not knowing who was going to help me now. I looked at my father and it was than I became painfully aware that how different we were. I couldn't go to him; he didn't know anything about chemistry or science in general. I watched his hard face that held no emotion through this whole entire thing. He had never taken any interest in my projects or experiments. I had never felt as alone as I did at that moment and it was then I wanted so much to cry.

The moment we made it back to our house I jumped out of the car. I remember hearing my mother calling for me but I needed to just be alone. I was furious about my grandfather for leaving me now. He should have fought harder to stay. Didn't he know how much I needed him? I grabbed my science project and threw it across the room and began to stomp on it until it was just scattered pieces. I kept thinking that it just didn't matter any more…nothing did. I felt the tears run down my cheeks as I pounded my feet against the floor.

I fell on my bed in exhaustion and tried to hide from the world. I could feel myself slipping into sleep and hoped that when I woke up, that this would be just a bad dream.

I don't know how long I slept, but I awoke to a crash coming from downstairs. I glanced quickly up at my sky windows and I could see the pale moon shinning through.

"He was a bastard, Elizabeth," I heard my father shouting. "A fucking bastard!"

I crept downstairs quietly curious to see what was going on. I had never heard my father shout before and it made my heart thump nervously. I peered behind the doorway of the kitchen, making sure that my parents didn't know I was there watching. My father sat on the ground, knees bent and leaning against the kitchen cupboards. I could hear the sniffles as he buried his face in his hands. My mother was kneeling in front of him, trying to sooth him by stroking his leg.

"I know you're upset but you must know that he loved you. Even I could see that. He just… didn't know how to make things right after all these years," my mother spoke quietly to him.

"He was a shitty father and an even shittier husband," my father grumbled out.

I immediately tried to fight the urge to defend my grandfather, standing very still watching what was unfolding in the kitchen.

My father rubbed his eyes and looked to my mother. His eyes were red and his cheeks were tear stained. There is something so uncomfortable about seeing your father break down and cry. It's unnerving when you see the strongest man you know look so vulnerable. I wanted to look away, erase that image from my head, but I continue to watch them.

"The only thing that he was good at was being a grandfather and I hate him even more for that. He made me resent my own son for having the relationship that I knew I could never have with him," he spat out.

"I hated him," my father sobbed. "I hated him for leaving mom and I hate him even more for leaving me. I'm glad he's dead"

I couldn't bear to hear anymore. I rushed upstairs as fast and quietly as I could. My eyes began to tear again and I became angry with myself that it seemed that I couldn't stop crying today. I sat on my bed, bouncing my knee as I was too upset and couldn't sit still. I couldn't stay there in my room. I had to get out. I quickly packed my sleeping bag and a flashlight. I changed into jeans and a sweatshirt.

I stood on my bed, pushing the window open and slipping out through it. As I made it out I put my backpack on and began to climb down the lattice on the side of my house. The second my feet touch the grass, I ran as fast as I could. I ran through the backyards of my neighborhood. I could feel the cool wind as it hit my face. It was so dark out that I could barely make out all of the trees in front of me. I could see a faint light coming up from my destination- the tree house. My eyebrows furrowed as I didn't expect anyone to be there tonight. Finally, I reached Emmett and Alice's backyard. As I climbed up the ladder, I saw a hand reach down in front of me. I looked up and I saw Emmett smiling down at me. Confused, I reached for his hand and he hosted my up easily.

All of them were there: Rosalie, Alice and Jasper sitting on the sleeping bags, as if they were waiting for me. I gave them all questioning looks as I tried to adjust myself.

"Alice had a feeling you'd be coming here tonight," Jasper said.

The rest of the night, they all talked while I sat there trapped in my own world. Emmett tried to make me laugh but gave up after I didn't respond to his second joke. Alice made a s'more for me over a candle trying to cheer me up but I declined when she handed it to me. I was the last to fall asleep that night. We were all sandwiched tightly between each other in the tight space, reminding us all that we were growing up. I sat up and leaned against the wall of the tree house. I had been lying in the middle of everyone, Emmett and Rosalie to my left and Alice and Jasper to my left. I could hear the faint snoring coming from Emmett and Rosalie grinding her teeth. It was then I could see the apparent shift in our friendship. I didn't know how I hadn't taken note of it before. I observed Jasper holding Alice's hand by his side while Emmett and Rosalie slept so close together the faces just barely touching.

I was the odd man out.

**A/N: Reviews good or bad are definitely appreciated. Thanks again!!**


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note:

Hello. I know this may disappoint some of you but I decided not to finish Life After. I didn't like the direction the story was going and wanted to rewrite it. Please take a look at my new story, An Innocent Evil. You'll start to see some parallels from this story to Life After. Sorry again but hopefully you'll like this new story way better. Thanks again for all your reviews and reading my stories. :-)


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